An active, character-driven Hogwarts experience set in the early 2000s. Unique items, plots, and features. Non-canon; this isn't Harry Potter's story, it's ours.
Post by Jade Arwell on Aug 17, 2020 0:05:36 GMT 10
Jade hadn't said much before thankfully leaving the Greenhouse area of the grounds. She was too surprised by Nyx's response, saying she actually did want to get to know her and spend some time with her. Jade felt guilty at first, as she was meant to be spending her afternoon with Tiana, but those plans were changed once whatever happened in the Greenhouse derailed it. She hoped Amy was okay, though still didn't think it was a good enough excuse to be ditched.
She kept pace with Nyx, trying not to charge ahead or fall behind. The Savannah was a big place and it took a while to walk there. They were in no rush though, so she just strolled and admired the afternoon view of the lake. It had better not bloody rain.
'I want to work at the Ministry,' Jade said. May as well start somewhere, right? Nyx had asked. 'I'm not sure what department yet, but I'm hoping something where I can make real change. Not just chasing after law-breakers or regulating things...' She shrugged. It was a work in progress.
It was probably her turn to ask what Nyx wanted to do after graduation, but Jade didn't care too much about that stuff yet. School topics weren't really as satisfying, in terms of getting to know a family member.
Despite caring about her friends and being a Gryffindor herself, Jade had snorted in amusement to Nyx's joke. She was familiar with Nyx's style of humour. Though she'd never openly admit it, Jade's was much the same. Though she didn't often do it out of spite, just her bluntness usually came across in that way.
'So uh... Who are your friends?' Jade asked, glancing at her cousin. That word still felt weird but she was determined to get used to it. 'I mean, if you have to be civil with my best friend, I guess that means I have to with yours too, right? Fair's fair. So who is it? Or is your boyfriend also your best friend?'
Post by Nyx Nordstrom on Aug 19, 2020 6:15:50 GMT 10
Soon after setting off toward The Savannah, Nyx began to silently question why she asked about her cousin's aspirations post-graduation. She was surprised Jade had an idea of what she wanted to do, because Nyx Nordstrom hadn't the slightest. She briefly played with the idea of dabbling in professional Quidditch, but was that something she solely wanted to do? Hardly. Nyx desired something highly respectable and prestigious. She wanted to become notable.
Nyx walked beside her relative, mirroring Jade's facial expressions as a sign of active, attentive listening. Truth was, she was internally panicking, hoping that her cousin wouldn't ask her the same question. How embarrassing it would've been for Nyx Nordstrom, the girl who seemed to be on top of it all, not knowing what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. In her defense, she felt like her current world was collapsing around her everyday—how could she think about the future when she felt like it was already a difficult endeavor getting through the present?
Suddenly, Nyx's head spun toward Jade with bewilderment and incomprehension. Boyfriend? Nyx had no such thing. I mean, she fancied Mathias Sallow, and she was pretty sure he felt the same way, but they were by no means an item—not yet, at least. The thought alone sent her mind into a frenzy, in which she lost all ability to use words. How would she respond to that?
"Math— my boyf— I mean, what?" Nordstrom asked incredulously, her face pinkening with embarrassment. "I don't have a boyfriend," she quickly spat, her fingers curling into her palms. "What makes you think I have a boyfriend? Did someone tell you that—was it Tiana Thomas?" she questioned with rapid fire, coming to an immediate halt in their walk.
"Mathias Sallow is my friend," she stated with a matter-of-fact tone, crossing her arms over her chest. The truth was, Nyx felt like she and Mathias were blossoming into something much more, but she continued with the charade anyway. "I have a couple male friendships and they're by no means romantic," she harrumphed, her chin raising arrogantly as if she were completely innocent of such a thing. "You should check your sources, Jade Arwell," Nyx sneered, a smile threatening to lift her plush lips upon the thought of dating Mathias Sallow.
Last Edit: Aug 19, 2020 6:35:20 GMT 10 by Nyx Nordstrom
Post by Jade Arwell on Aug 22, 2020 1:08:17 GMT 10
Jade stopped when Nyx did, though could not look more unconvinced by her cousin's words if she tried.
'Sure,' she said, disbelief filled every syllable. 'Sorry I asked.' Rolling her eyes, she the area a glance over while Nyc continued to insist there was nothing going on with her and Mathias on any romantic level. She was curious about the accusation of Tiana having said something though, and mentally made note to check if her bestie had seen anything or if Nyx was just grasping at straws.
'Male friendships?' Jade was amused now. 'Who even uses that phrase? Though, you know what's funny? I never mentioned Sallow. That was you. It was a decent attempt, Nyx - but you're not fooling anyone that there's nothing there. Except maybe yourself.'
Blimey her cousin was out of sorts over this guy. Sallow was weird and a bit of a loner, if nothing else. Jade had interacted with him more than most of their classmates, but still not enough to really know him apart from his family's reputation and whatever else. What was it that drew Nyx to him?
'You are my source,' Jade added. She crossed her arms, giving Nyx a firm yet teasing look of not buying anything her cousin said. 'Yeah, we're not at the bonding level of gossiping about relationship stuff, and frankly I don't care much for mushy topics anyway, but you basically panicked at the suggestion of having a boyfriend then assigned Sallow to that role. Might want to think long and hard about your denial, huh?'
And to think Jade was trying not to be too blunt that time. Oh well.
'You didn't answer my question, by the way,' she added after giving Nyx a moment. 'Is he your best friend or is someone else worthy of that role?'
Post by Nyx Nordstrom on Aug 24, 2020 3:49:21 GMT 10
"I—" Nyx started to say, her voice tangled in her throat. She had called herself out with that response, didn't she? "Look, it's not that you and I aren't at a certain bonding level, it's just that I don't even know," she explained, feeling a wave of aggravation washing over her at the thought. "I like him, Jade, I do, but we're just friends—best friends, I suppose?" Nyx admitted, unsure of herself. "I have never felt this way about a boy before and it scares me a little," she continued. "What if Mathias only sees me as a friend?"
Her words were coming out like word vomit—an absolute hybrid of inadequacy, embarrassment and insecurity. These weren't traits that Nyx Nordstrom normally portrayed, but for whatever reason, she felt comfortable enough around Jade to let them show. Nyx felt panicked, knowing that it was too late to backtrack and take her words back. She had to trust in her first cousin and hope that she wouldn't look at her differently for pouring her heart out. Trusting someone these days was harder than usual for her, though—another one of Nyx's many inner conflicts.
"He's been acting different lately and I don't know if that's him trying to back out of whatever we have," Nyx openly shared, breathing the words. She wasn't normally this open, but she felt safe with her cousin; she couldn't explain it. "I'm more cautious than ever now, too—thanks to our family. I'm scared to trust anyone with my heart, finding myself not wanting to give anyone the benefit of the doubt," she confessed, before shooting a glare at Jade. "I'm confiding in you, so you better not say a bloody thing, either."
Nyx then laughed nervously, trying to mask her unease. "I'm sorry if that was an overshare. It's been weighing heavy on me," she disclosed with a shake of her head, pushing her fingers through her platinum hair. "You probably want to run back to the castle now, don't you?" she asked in jest, but her eyes told another story. "I wouldn't blame you. I'm a complete mess these days, walking around and pretending that I have everything sorted," she sighed, beginning to walk toward their destination again.
Post by Jade Arwell on Aug 24, 2020 19:33:53 GMT 10
That was a lot to unpack.
Jade paused their walk, taking a turn to find a sport of grass that looked the driest and least annoying. She frowned, having not brought her robe with her as a blanket buffer to the grass. And she wore shorts. Ugh. With a defeated sigh, she sat anyway and gestured for Nyx to join her. Not that she cared either way, since the clouds overhead meant she could still look at her cousin's face without being blinded.
She didn't reply right away. Jade didn't want to mess it up and say something stupid or insensitive. She'd never really crushed on someone or dated before, so it wasn't as if she had wealth of knowledge. Apart from the mushy gossiping and giggling she'd heard around the school or even in her own dormitory. Nothing was sacred these days.
Nyx had trusted her. Jade knew enough about her cousin that the whole episode of nervousness and word vomiting wasn't a normal interaction. She should feel proud and honoured by that, but she was too caught off-guard and now worried she'd say the wrong thing. Oh well, silence would be worst and she did sympathise for the weird situation Nyx was in.
'If you've never felt this way about someone before, then that's a pretty big clue right?' She shrugged. 'Look, I'd be cautious too so I can't really say go for it or try not to let our family screw up yet another part of your life, but I guess you just have to decide what you want from him. I mean, do you want him to know you like him? Do you want to ask him out and take a chance on being with him?'
She rolled her eyes at the glare shot her way. 'Yeah, yeah - I know. I can keep a secret, Nyx,' Jade said firmly. The loyalty burned in her gaze. She would never intentionally let down anyone she cared about. 'It's fine, though. I mean, I'm not great at giving advice but I'll always listen if you need me. If it's been weighing on you, well that's a good chance to put my cousin benefits to use right?' she joked, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
She was glad they hadn't gone towards the Beech tree, as it seemed there was someone else there. Jade couldn't tell who, except they looked to be a classmate or close enough. So long as they kept back, it wouldn't impact them at all.
'Nah, I'm a Gryffindor.' Jade smirked, poking her chest where the crest would be if she'd worn any part of her uniform that had it. 'We don't scare easily. Unless there's a spider in the toilet, of course.' She shook her head, then considered what to say next.
She almost let slip she could have been a Slytherin, had the sorting gone the other way, but it wasn't something she'd even really talked to Ti about.
'You like him.' Jade picked at some grass, wondering what liking someone felt like - the way Nyx described, anyway. 'I've seen you two around, you know. I'd bet he likes you too. Maybe he's acting differently because he's starting to think the same things you are? I mean, have you giving him hints you're interested? Tested the water, or whatever? If you want, I could find out if he likes someone?'
Jade fixed her ponytail again, then swatted at some grass near her leg. Mentioning spiders was not a great idea when being tickled by grass. Why had she worn the damn shorts?
'You're not the only one who's a mess these days,' she added, avoiding eye contact. 'I doubt even half of us having anything sorted, pretending or not. I know I don't. I have some plans and things I want to do, but most days I'm just winging it. his whole cousin stuff has really thrown me too. I used to be so sure of myself and now it's like someone played a trick on my life.'
Post by Nyx Nordstrom on Aug 27, 2020 0:11:17 GMT 10
Nyx followed her cousin over toward the empty patch of grass, opting to not disrobe and use it as a surface to sit upon. She didn't want to soil her Ravenclaw vestments, but better her black robes than the blindingly white button-up shirt she wore beneath it. She curled her legs after taking a seat, tucking her robes underneath her knees and legs in an effort to not dirty herself.
"I do want him to know, Jade," Nyx said, becoming sure of her words. "I want him to know how he makes me feel, how much butterflies I get just by looking in his eyes," she added, looking up at the sky. "I'm just scared. I don't handle rejection well," she shared, letting her words trail to a silent, lingering suggestion. Her father. Nyx knew what it was like to be rejected, for a man to want nothing to do with her, to leave and abandon her.
Nordstrom laughed at her cousin's comment about spiders in the toilet, it breaking her train of thought. She took a moment to refocus, delicately running her fingers over the grass between them. Nyx appreciated Jade, not only for taking the time to listen to her, but in her effort to give advice and feedback, even though she noted she wasn't great at it. Nyx silently disagreed with that sentiment, however, finding Jade's insight helpful in figuring out what to do next.
"You think so?" Nyx asked, smiling at Jade. Her smile was hopeful, full of optimism. "I suppose the more I think about it, I couldn't imagine him not feeling the same way I do. To me, the connection is undeniable," she remarked, her fingertips absentmindedly stroking a blade of grass. "How would you go about getting that information, anyway?" she inquired, showing an interest in the proposition of Jade finding out if Mathias Sallow liked someone. That would surely save Nyx the embarrassment if he only considered her a friend.
"We'll be messes together," she replied, searching for her cousin's eyes. She offered a light laugh, attempting to come across as carefree as possible—which was impossible for Nyx Nordstrom. "We've got eachother now, Jade," Nyx consoled, a smile on her pink lips.
"In fact, there's something I'd like to you to be present for," Nordstrom suddenly said, straightening her posture. "I'm writing a letter to my mother and grandmother tonight and sending it in the morning," she informed her cousin, a look of both confidence and diffidence in her expression. "It's been a long time coming, but it needs to be done. I'd like you to read it over in the Owlery before I send it. Can you do that?" she asked.
Last Edit: Aug 27, 2020 0:11:54 GMT 10 by Nyx Nordstrom
Post by Jade Arwell on Aug 28, 2020 3:29:36 GMT 10
Jade pulled a face at the sappy talk, though bit her tongue to keep from making a snarky comment. She'd come far over the years of being Tiana's best friend, learning when to keep herself from being too honest or speaking before thinking. She completely understood being scared of rejection though, and wasn't surprised her cousin handled that about as well as Jade did. Which was to say, very badly.
'Rejection sucks.' Jade shrugged. 'Regret sucks too. Which is worst?' It was an eternal struggle, that question. She hoped Nyx had a better idea of how to answer it or she was going to be single her whole life, and some great-aunt whats-her-name once said that makes for a bitter hag.
She rolled her eyes. If the connection between Nyx and Mathias was so undeniable, why were they doing this dance of uncertainty? Dating was weird and far too complicated for no other reason than to complicate things. She'd rather be the bitter hag.
'It's not that hard. I've done it loads of times before,' Jade said, when asked how she'd get the information. 'I'd just go up to him and ask if he's single or interested in anyone. No naming names, just curious on behalf of a friend. No need to over-complicate it, Nyx. I'm not an investor in this... whatever it is you two have going on. No harm, no foul.'
At least Mathias was a weird, yet decent enough pick. The ones Tiana had been interested in... Jade withheld another eye roll. Even looking at Luckett Langford was a trying effort. Then that tall, overachiever guy was a nightmare. Come to think of it, most of them were all obnoxious in some way or another. A lot of wasted handsome. She needed to have a talk with Tiana about her taste, now she thought about it.
As nauseating as the dating topic was, Jade wasn't sure she preferred the new one.
'Uh, sure.' She shrugged, picking at blades of grass. 'Grandmother... that a shared one or on your side only?' Jade refused to make eye contact. It was hard enough dealing with having a new cousin, let alone connecting the dots that there were others that came with it. And Aunt, for example. Had Nyx mentioned them already and Jade forgot? They needed a flowchart or something.
She dreaded Nyx asking about Tess, not realising she'd made an opening then and there, but it was inevitable sooner or later.
'I'll be there,' Jade confirmed, as a promise. 'We're in this together now. If you need or want me to be there when you send it off, or read it over, whatever - I will. But you said tonight... you don't mean we're going to miss the feast for this right? Jacob hogged all the good stuff last year and I'm not missing out this year or I'm gonna have to kill him.' She said it seriously, though of course she was kidding. More like she'd shove his face into his pudding again.
[OOC: mention of other characters and those details were all done with permission.]
Post by Nyx Nordstrom on Aug 29, 2020 8:38:38 GMT 10
Her cousin's question took Nyx by surprise; regret or rejection—which was worse? It brought her back to a simpler time, when a younger Nyx Nordstrom only had to worry about things like gymnastics. She had always been terrified of losing, of not being the most flawless performer in any given competition, to the point where she'd sometimes refuse to perform. And, every time this happened, her grandmother would sit her down and give her an encouraging pep talk.
In one of Nyx's last gymnastic tournaments, she was scared of failing to retain her gold medal status after having achieved the highest ranking the previous round. Nordstrom had wanted to forfeit, unwilling to take a loss to a hyped newcomer. She didn't want to fail. In response, her grandmother had said: daring to fail, even though it means risking looking bad, and looking like a fool, and stumbling our way through, is about becoming actually what we are potentially.
Nyx went on to win that tournament and was rewarded with an impressive set of accolades that other girls in her age group had never achieved. Her grandmother's words had stuck with her until recently—and Nyx would normally apply those words to numerous situations, to help encourage and motivate her. Jade Arwell had unknowingly reminded her of those words.
"I believe I'd regret my inaction more than my action," she softly said in reply to her cousin. Nyx's head lifted slowly, but her gaze never left the grass. "My grandmother used to dare me to fail more often, to have me try and lead a more fulfilling life. I used to be so confused when she said things like that to me—but I understand them now."
"She's my maternal grandmother," Nyx responded, glancing up to find her cousin's eyes. "I've never met anyone from my father's side of the family—not until you at least," she added, noticing Jade's refusal for eye contact. Was this still a super uncomfortable topic for her? Nyx was trying to make an effort. She was breaking down her own walls to give her blood relative access. Nyx wanted to forge a closer connection—didn't Jade want to do the same?
"Mathias isn't an idiot, by the way," Nordstrom blurted out, abruptly shifting the topic of conversation for Arwell's benefit—or so she assumed. "He knows about you, Jade. I told him about my family lying to me, about them keeping this whole thing a secret," she explained, beginning to rip grass from their roots. "He'll use deductive logic and reasoning to figure out that I'm utilizing you to get information," she sighed with faint frustration.
"I'm just going to do it myself," Nyx stated with finality in her voice, her tone offering no room for argument. "It's the most honest approach and I'd rather not drag you into this. I need to do this myself," she finished, nodding and visibly proud of her decision.
Nyx began to casually collect her things, wiping a few blades of grass from her vestments. It appeared that time was passing by rather quickly. Where had the entire afternoon gone? Nyx had been so consumed with she and her cousin's conversation, that she didn't realize that the sun would soon set—if it hadn't already begun to descend. She offered her cousin a small smile as she stood, smoothing out her robes and checking her front discreetly for any impurities.
"I'm sending the letter tomorrow morning," she clarified, shaking her head over the fact she had to repeat herself. "We're not going to miss the feast, Jade. I mean, I would be absolutely devastated if your friends ate all the pudding before you managed to get some," she sneered, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Nyx couldn't help the laughter that followed her words either, finding her cousin's reasoning to attend the feast highly amusing.
Last Edit: Aug 29, 2020 8:39:25 GMT 10 by Nyx Nordstrom
Post by Jade Arwell on Sept 1, 2020 2:11:56 GMT 10
Nyx was quiet for a moment, so Jade focused on the lake view. It was a rather nice spot, though she wasn't normally one to just lounge around and take in the view. Maybe she should do that more often? It was kind of nice, she supposed.
'How does failure make you lead a more fulfilling life?' Jade pulled a face, not understanding that at all.
She wasn't quick enough to hide her disappointment hearing the grandmother was from Nyx's mother's side though, so had no actual relation to Jade. She roughly picked at some grass, taking it out on nature. Why did she even care? It wasn't as if they'd reached out to her either.
Jade also knew there was no avoiding it any longer. With a sigh, she glanced at Nyx and decided she may as well just get it over with.
'Well, there's my mum,' she said. 'She was in Slytherin, like your father. Like Tess. The hat considered it for me, but no way. Um... what else? I know my mum and your father are from a big-deal pureblood family, as if the grandparents would ever let anyone forget.'
She thought for a moment, trying to remember. There was a time when she'd wanted to know more about them, but had since tried to distance herself from it all. Jade felt like a complete outsider to them, but figured at least deserved to know something about her other half of the tree.
'Quidditch is a bit deal - lots of talented players on that side.' Jade glanced at Nyx when saying that, wondering if her cousin would be upset or not to have that in common with them. Nyx may hate her father, but he was still part of her DNA. 'Tess is your cousin too, I guess. She's older - a Healer. Works at Saint Mungo's. The perfect daughter,' she muttered the last bit with disdain.
She refused to meet Nyx's gaze, afraid it would betray the amount of hurt and anger associated with Tess. Jade wanted to pretend they could avoid mentioning Tess forever, but doubted that was possible. She didn't want Nyx to have anything to do with her sister, but even Jade couldn't convince herself it wasn't wrong to keep them apart. Like it or not, Tess was related to Nyx too. Surely she'd want to know about her older cousin?
Then Nyx would be so impressed by Tess like everyone else was, and once again Jade was cast aside. She yanked some more grass, dreading it. How could she think it could go any other way? Everyone loved Tess.
'I never said Mathias was an idiot. He's just weird,' she added, trying to keep some sort of conversation going so she didn't have to think about Tess. 'But I don't think he will - I mean, I've asked people if they liked anyone for Ti and they didn't assume it was her. People know I'm nosy enough to find out, if only to avoid all the people involved in that mushy crap. Wanna ask him yourself? I don't care either way.' She shrugged.
Cranky, Jade just nodded at the letter stuff. She didn't even laugh at Nyx's sarcasm, though especially since she did not find it funny at all. She would be devastated if she missed the feast. She was glad Nyx found it amusing anyway, not sure she'd heard her cousin laugh like that much before. It was just hard now, knowing it was all going to disappear once she learned how wonderful Tess was and how boring Jade was in comparison.
Post by Nyx Nordstrom on Sept 1, 2020 23:32:12 GMT 10
"She meant for me to stop striving solely for perfection, that sometimes losses can shape who we are and who we're meant to become," Nyx added in clarification, realizing she hadn't really explained why her grandmother had said such odd things. "I tend to forgo doing things if there's even a slight potential for failure. I hate to lose and love to win, and the thought of losing at anything shakes me to my core. I'd be lying if I said it still doesn't," she sighed, dropping her head. Nyx didn't openly admit that to just anyone.
It appeared to be a similar situation with Jade, who apparently only didn't like to speak of her family but especially her sister, Tess. Nyx watched her cousin's facial expressions as she spoke of her family, how they dipped with dismay and her tone sounded of disdain. From what Nyx Nordstrom could tell, there was a lot of resentment there. She wanted to know more but she didn't want to pry, not if it meant upsetting Jade. But then, her cornflower blue eyes widened.
"You were almost Slytherin?" she asked with surprise, recalling her own experience with the magical hat. "I was almost sorted into Slytherin house, too. In fact, I really felt like I would've been had I not protested so passionately," Nordstrom divulged with a shake of her head, her hand resting idly on her chest. "I can't even imagine you in Slytherin," she giggled, it filling the honest air. Nyx made no comment of imagining herself in Slytherin.
"It sounds like that perfection trait runs in the family," she scoffed in regards to Tess, regretting her words almost as soon as she said them. Nyx didn't want to upset her cousin by acknowledging her, but she couldn't deny her curiosity. "I'm looking forward to meeting her someday. If she's anything like you, I'm sure I'll enjoy her," Nyx smiled, her expression surprisingly caring and gentle. She was trying to make a hard topic, easy.
Nyx nodded along as her cousin spoke of Mathias Sallow, and opted to keep her thoughts to herself as she listened to Jade's previous approaches on behalf of Tiana Thomas. Hm, didn't Thomas pride herself on being brave and courageous? Regardless, Nordstrom was set in her decision to approach Mathias, whether that was at dinner or in the commons. Both didn't offer the privacy she desired, but if she could find a way to get him alone, the chat could be had.
"Alright, come on. Let's start heading back to the castle. I don't know if I want to be introduced to pudding-deprived Jade today," she smirked, letting another joke loose. Nyx was enjoying the banter, but was too wrapped up in her own humor to realize her first cousin wasn't laughing. In her defense, Nyx Nordstrom wasn't familiar with this type of exchange.
Last Edit: Sept 1, 2020 23:39:34 GMT 10 by Nyx Nordstrom
Post by Jade Arwell on Sept 3, 2020 0:20:00 GMT 10
Jade gave a non-committed shrug about the grandmother's supposed words of wisdom. She still didn't think it made much sense, but Nyx apparently did so that's probably what mattered. It wasn't as if Jade had to give it any serious thought. It wasn't her grandmother. Not that she listened to those that were on her side of the family anyway. Well, apart from Nyx...
'Must be nice to actually win instead of being a walking failure,' Jade muttered, incorrectly assuming Nyx wouldn't hear her. She got up, dusting herself off and checking there were no loose blades of grass. She sighed, and turned towards the castle.
She stared when Nyx said she'd almost gone to Slytherin too. 'Wait, so we could have shared a dormitory?' That part got to Jade the most, then she pulled a face. 'Not sure Seabrook's worth putting up with though.' Still, she could have shared with her cousin for these years. Would that make the truth harder or easier to swallow now?
Even the word "perfection" dug its claws into Jade's mood and composure. Then there was the optimism Nyx had for meeting Tess. "If she's anything like you..." - that hurt, even though Jade could have sworn she'd put all those feelings behind her. Ignored them until she could pretend it away, more like. She couldn't even answer right away, angry that her eyes teared up at the thought of losing Nyx to stupid Tess as well. They all liked her better.
'I'm nothing like her,' Jade snapped, kicking a loose stone quite far towards the lake edge. She couldn't even look at Nyx now, knowing her outburst was going to add to the fact.
She couldn't shake all those times Tess was praised and adored, then the disdain and disappointment Jade got in contrast. A part of her wanted Nyx to understand, but too many times had everyone reminded her that she'd never live up to Tess. Too many times had her sister always been everyone's first choice or preference.
A rant boiled to the surface. When it did, Jade didn't realise the shift in her own tone - as if she was no longer speaking, but rather reciting what had been told to her so often it was rhetoric.
'Tess is polite, well-educated, and incredibly talented. She was a great Quidditch player, respectable Prefect, and so of course she excels in everything she does,' Jade said. Her emotions were expressed in voice and tense posture, but her eyes were vacant - lost in her own defeat. 'Unlike the other one, of course. Noisy, rude, and too different...'
Jade stared at the ground, unable to keep the sting from her eyes this time. She shook her head, so practiced in trying to deny those words. She regretted talking to Nyx. Too much stuff was coming up - things she never wanted to think about or even talk about. She was stupid to think this could work out. All it would take was Nyx to meet Tess and, as always, Jade no longer mattered. Nyx sought perfection too, like Tess. Nyx played Quidditch...
When it came down to it, what did Jade and Nyx really have in common?
'You know what? It's almost time for dinner. How about we catch up some other time?' Jade couldn't bear it - she couldn't stand there and pretend to be okay with Nyx realising she was befriending the wrong cousin.
It wasn't until that moment that all of her confusion made sense. She wasn't nervous about getting to know Nyx, or trying to figure everything out, or even trying to work out how she felt. It was much more simple yet complicated than that. She cared. Jade cared so much about Nyx already that the idea of losing her, after the bonding they'd already don, was too much to bear.
Jade wasn't someone who knew what to do with those emotions and fear of loss, so her fight or flight instinct kicked in. She glanced at Nyx, knowing what she had to do.
'Thanks, uh... for everything.' Jade nodded, barely keeping it together. 'I'm gonna go check in on Ti and Amy. You should owl Tess - I'm sure you'll get on great. Good luck with Mathias. I hope he makes you happy, even if he's weird. See you later.' It sounded like a goodbye because in Jade's heart it was. She had to end this before it hurt too much. As if it didn't already.
Without thinking, she flung her arms around Nyx in a tight but genuine hug. Jade just wanted to know what it was like, and couldn't distance herself from everything without (in her own way) letting Nyx know how much she meant to her. The hug lingered, and Jade's tears fell to Nyx's shoulder. Wincing, knowing she'd would hate that blemish of imperfection, Jade retreated.
She turned abruptly, not giving Nyx the chance to stop her. For once, she was thankful for the shorts. Jade fled - running the rest of the way back to the castle. Despite her words though, she had no intention of going to the Hospital Wing. Instead, she hurried to the Gryffindor common room. Knowing her dorm would be empty, Jade decided on a shower then to hide out on her bed until dinner. She didn't make it that far, collapsing to a sobbing mess on he floor beside her bed.
It was a good thing she and Nyx didn't share a dormitory after all.
[OOC: The strong, lingering hug was done with permission.]
Last Edit: Sept 3, 2020 0:25:03 GMT 10 by Jade Arwell
Post by Nyx Nordstrom on Sept 3, 2020 5:47:20 GMT 10
Nyx was generally awful at comforting others, known to not possess a single sympathetic bone in her tiny, petite body—at least not with those she cared about. However, she believed she cared about Jade, feeling a tinge of sadness at her remark about being a walking failure. Nyx didn't find her cousin to be that, not from what she had seen at least. Granted, the two girls hadn't spent much time together in recent years, if at all. The last two months by far had been the most they interacted. Nyx wanted to verbalize her disagreement, but kept to herself.
"Yeah, I suppose we would've shared a dormitory," she said, glancing over at Jade. Would she have enjoyed sharing a room with Nyx the last four years or would she still have preferred her current situation with Tiana Thomas? Nyx would never openly admit it, but she was becoming jealous of the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain—but to be clear, not for anything other than her relationship with Jade. Nyx wanted what they had. The more they spoke, Nyx wanted to be as close as close could get. Jade was family, the only family Nyx could trust.
"I don't find Amara Seabrook to be as monstrous as others do," Nyx disclosed, knowing it wasn't necessarily a popular opinion. "She's just deeply layered, very complex—and she has her fair share of secrets. There's a lot going on there. I'm more interested by her than anything else," she confessed, shrugging as if her words meant nothing. Had anyone other than Amara's closest ever said something somewhat positive about the infamous girl?
"Oh?" Nyx responded with some confusion, watching as her cousin kicked a loose stone toward the shore of the Black Lake. Had Nyx said something wrong? She had been trying her best to choose her words carefully up until that point, having gotten the sense that this was a delicate topic of conversation for her cousin. But apparently Nyx hadn't been careful enough.
The more Jade spoke of Tess, the more Nyx saw the similarities between herself and the cousin she had never met. But that didn't detract from her desire to get to know the cousin she had met, in an effort to grow closer as family should. Nyx wanted to comfort Jade, but didn't know what to do or say. She didn't want to further upset or offend her. Nyx could only offer a sigh.
"Jade," she suddenly said, her blue eyes soft with concern. "I want to get to know you and you to get to know me. That's why we're here," she implored, traces of frustration in her voice. Nyx didn't want to react poorly toward her cousin, but she didn't entirely understand what was happening. Did Jade hate the idea of Nyx and Tess becoming close? As soon as she thought that was the reason, Jade's next words helped piece together some of the puzzle.
Nordstrom stood conflicted with what to do, not knowing how to proceed with their emotional exchange. Then, she was caught by surprise. Nyx immediately stiffened, taken aback by Jade's strong embrace. It was sudden, but the longer it lingered, the more Nyx melted into it. She reached up to wrap her arms around Jade in return, but before she could completely, Jade retreated. Nyx could see the tears that streaked her cousin's cheeks—and they pained her.
"Jade!" Nyx cried out, reaching for her cousin. But it was too late. Jade had abruptly turned and fled toward the castle, leaving behind nothing but wet tears on Nyx's shoulder. Nyx pushed her hands over her platinum hair, her face flushed with pink color. Her heart was racing with unfamiliar sorrow, her feet firmly planted where the pair had once stood. There was nothing but deafening silence now, nothing but heartache. Had Jade just said goodbye for good?
Last Edit: Sept 3, 2020 5:57:22 GMT 10 by Nyx Nordstrom: For clarification purposes, this thread is now closed.
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