An active, character-driven Hogwarts experience set in the early 2000s. Unique items, plots, and features. Non-canon; this isn't Harry Potter's story, it's ours.
When summoned, the Knight Bus materialised as it sped round a corner towards the end of the street -- weaving its way around the Muggle cars, then coming to an abrupt stop in front of them. The doors shuddered open, and the Conductor swerved round a pole to greet the waiting Ashworths.
'Welcome to the Knight bus,' she said, dressed in black and violet -- with a rather fashionable leather jacket, and fingerless leather gloves. 'I'm Ada Soots, and I will be your conductor this bloody cold morning. Tickets?'
'Six,' Marcus said, counting his Galleons. He gave them a street address not far from King's Cross.
'Icy come, icy go,' said the Shrunken Head by the driver, as they passed by one-by-one to board the bus.
Marcus was relieved to see it was quite bare at the moment, and gestured for the kids to sit at the back. He took a seat several ahead of them, and wasn't affected by the sudden bang and movement as the bus took off into open traffic.
There weren't any stops along the way, though the journey somehow felt longer than when they'd arrived for Christmas. Before they'd known anything would be different, and Aubrey wouldn't be home to greet them.
The kids were thrown about as the bus took some sharp or sudden turns. One of them was enough to send Ezra flying, if no one grabbed him in time. Marcus was quiet, easily unnoticed, though Ada seemed particularly uninterested in him as if he was almost invisible.
'Any of you collect those cards?' Ada asked, effortlessly standing in the aisle despite the bus speeding along a bridge -- weaving endless cars and obstacles along the way. 'You know, the ones from Chocolate Frogs? I got this Moran Javah dude again, apparently it's super rare. Know him?'
'Yes,' Marcus said, unable to resist. 'Former Unspeakable. So experienced that he has free choice of any career he wishes, inspiring the wizarding term Moran of all trades. Currently assisting Curse-Breakers in Peru, last I heard.'
'Wow, you know your stuff.' Ada nodded, though only held out the card to the kids. 'Any takers? No need to trade; I don't care much for the cards, just a select few.'
--
Stepping off the Knight Bus, Marcus took in the sight of snowy London. Rather quiet, and sighing as though he definitely wasn't looking forward to leaving Christmas behind. Or rather, having to part from his kids yet again. He couldn't even take them to the station, and wave them goodbye on the platform like he was supposed to.
'Before we go any further,' Marcus said, waiting until the Knight Bus had sped off out of view to he'd have their full attention. 'Jaxen, I need to you pick something up for me. There's a café down the street, round the corner by the bookstore. Take this.'
He handed his son a small package, tied tight with black ribbons.
'You'll understand when you get there, but make sure you get an envelope in return.' Marcus nodded, gesturing for Jaxen to hurry up. 'Don't worry, it's nothing bad or weird. Just some things I need to verify, from an idea Kody had about... our research. Go on, be quick.'
Research, meaning the curse.
Given his son's recent mood, Marcus wasn't about to waste time on arguing -- he made sure Jaxen had the package, then nudged him towards the street he needed to go. He wasn't concerned, proving how safe it was to send his son off there alone.
'While he does that, I'd like to know what your goals are this year. Some big exams coming up, right?' Marcus led the other kids away from traffic, to a frozen fountain they could use as a bench. 'Anyone know what career they're set on? Reena, I imagine you've chosen yours at least? Tell me about it. And also, the significance of that umbrella.'
He eyed it curiously, still wondering why someone had gifted her that over Christmas. An umbrella, of all things, and yet she seemed quite fond of it. His dad suspicions were flaring, and he'd tried not to pry, but something about it kept drawing his attention.
If nothing else, he just wanted to be with them a little while longer. Marcus wanted to know more about them, but he was happy just to get to talk to them before they had to say goodbye for now.
Post by Jaxen Ashworth on Jun 12, 2024 8:02:56 GMT 10
Jaxen didn't even flinch when the bus materialized apparently out of thin air. After summoning the bus himself a couple of times by now, it no longer shocked him how abruptly it showed up. He grabbed both his and Ezzie's trunk and proceeded to drag them closer to the bus so that they could be loaded aboard.
"Good morning Ada" he greeted the conductor in a much friendlier tone than he'd used with his family that morning. After all, she hadn't done anything to deserve his frosty mood, and working must be hard enough when it was cold enough to make a snowman weep.
"I like your jacket. Did you want help with the luggage, or have you got it?" last time Ada had insisted on loading the trunks aboard herself, but it was a particularly cold morning and loading five trunks aboard the bus would go by much more quickly with help.
Filing onto the bus, Jax didn't recognize the address Marcus gave but that wasn't altogether unusual. He hadn't seen much of London outside of Diagon Alley and Kings Cross. He went to sit next to Ezra, aware of how bumpy the bus ride could be and wanting to ensure his little brother didn't have too much of an uncomfortable ride - Kody seemed to have enjoyed the ride last time, and the girls rarely needed his help (not that either would accept it anyway).
"Hold on tight, Ezzie" he spoke quietly to the boy as the bus pulled away from the kerbside. He remembered Reena hitting her head on their first ever experience with the Knight bus and Jaxen didn't want any repeats.
His warning was proven necessary too, as the journey seemed quite a bit bumpier than he remembered. Once he even had to grab Ezra's jacket to keep the boy from flying out of his seat. Jaxen stared out of the window as the streets flew past in a blur, only half listening to conversations taking place around him.
"Don't you collect those, Kody?" he muttered at the mention of the chocolate frog cards. He turned his head to look at the card that Ada was holding. He wasn't familiar with the wizard in question, though felt as though he was important - he must be to be such a rare figure on the cards.
His dad began to speak on the matter and Jax turned to stare out the window again. Were they there yet?
Thankfully, the bus soon came to a stop and Jax was soon standing on a snowy street on London. Jax did a quick mental head count and made sure all of their trunks were accounted for - a habit, and then turned when Marcus mentioned his name. "What? Me?" he held his hand out for the package that was offered to him before his mind had a chance to catch up with what was being requested of him. He looked down at the small package in his hands and scowled. They were supposed to be catching a train.
For a moment he considered refusing, but then Marcus might ask one of his siblings to go in his place and he didn't know how comfortable he was with any of them wandering around London by themselves. Even if the cafe was just down the street like Marcus claimed.
"Fine. Wait here" the bitter tone was back, as if they would consider leaving without him. Marcus claimed that nothing bad or weird would be waiting for him, but Jaxen also knew that their definitions of bad or weird could be wildly different. Still, he held the package firmly and walked down the street.
There was only one café down the street thankfully, so Jax had very little difficulty in locating it. As he pushed open the door with his shoulder, he casually shoved his free hand into his pocket, fingers closing around his wand as if he expected needing to use it.
"Hello?" he approached the counter and placed the package down, whilst his hand rested possessively over it as if expecting someone to approach and steal it from him.
Post by Reena Ashworth on Jun 12, 2024 14:17:56 GMT 10
The Knight Bus appeared with a BANG -- and while Reena had expected it, she didn't think she would ever not startle at loud noises. Ever.
She smiled a little at Ada Soots, kind of having hoped she would be the conducter again today, then grabbed her backpack and took a window seat in the back.
Casting a few glances towards where her father sat, she was satisfied his words rang true: He seemed to naturally draw little to no attention from people. Or at least from Ada.
Reena shot Kody a look at the conducter's question about Chocolate Frog cards, then furrowed her brows at the name 'Moran Javah'. Perhaps she'd come across it in one of her research sessions?
Marcus provided some information on him and Reena briefly thought about just how famous you had to be to inspire a whole saying. Enough to warrant a card, apparently.
--
Once in London, Reena tried to figure out where exactly they were in relation to King's Cross, yet unable to locate any tourist map (she had overheard some classmates mention them some time ago and just remembered they might exist) right away.
She was surprised when Marcus had Jaxen run an errand, though almost more surprised when it was because of a Kody idea. She gave her younger brother a curious look.
What idea about their 'research' had he had? She must have missed that one. Perhaps when she hadn't come down for dinner the other night?
Reena would have offered to go in Jaxen's stead, but he had taken off already. With not much else to go on, she followed Marcus to a place with a fountain, though opted to stand on grounds of it being bloody cold and that she wasn't able to cast any warming charms here with both Marcus and potentially Muggles around.
She tried her best not to shiver, glancing around, just as Marcus asked about their plans for the future. As she was mentioned by name, she looked at him.
It wasn't something she went around parading at home, as the topic of growing up and leaving to have their own life always seemed to be so upsetting to Mum.
So being asked about what kibd of career she'd chosen to herself came something as a surprise.
And yet she nodded.
"Was thinking Potioneer/Inventor before, but now I'm trying to figure out if I can deal with the job of a Healer for the sake of getting into the Research Healer program."
It kind of felt good to say that out loud. The only person she had talked to about it face to face was Tae-Sang.
She glanced at the umbrella as it was mentioned.
"Oh, this?" Chuckling nervously, Reena was glad her face was red from the crispy winter air already.
She had half a mind to simply not tell or make something up, but as far as their track record went since he'd been back, honesty (sometimes brutal one) was the way to go.
She was just glad Jaxen wasn't around to hear, he had been in such a mood about his dormmate asking her to the dance (although he had apologised). Problem was, she had no idea how to describe hers and Tae-Sang's relationship.
"It's kind of a funny story. My, this guy I'd never met picked up my umbrella in pouring rain and held it for me while I collected ingredients. Now he's gifted me an even cooler umbrella."
Reena shrugged as though it wasn't a big deal at all.
"He's actually the one that's made me aware of Research Healers, so that's good. Jaxen's dormmate."
She provided more information that she would want to know if it were, say, Verity being questioned. Reena graciously left out the fact she had gone to the Ball with Tae-Sang however, hoping anyone else would pick up the topic of careers and steer the Dad-energy away from her (she still wasn't sure she really wanted it after everything she'd learned).
Post by Kody Ashworth on Jun 12, 2024 16:37:45 GMT 10
Knight Bus it was!
Kody happily boarded, yanking his trunk behind him and then stowing it onto one of the luggage shelves with a grunt. Wow, he really needed to build up some muscles.
What was the best way to do that?
But the Knight Bus took up all his brain space at that moment. He waved energetically to the conductor, recognising her from their last journey (or so he thought?). His siblings certainly seemed to know who she was, so she had to be a good person.
He took a seat a row behind his dad and plastered his face to the window to watch the world go by. He enjoyed every bump and corner, whooping with delight anytime he was dislodged from his seat and bounced into the air a bit.
How did anyone not enjoy this?
"Muggle buses don't do this, they just follow muggle traffic!" He explained to his nearest sibling, and then Ada Soots said something completely magical to his ears.
"I do!" Kody stood up and grabbed one of the handrails, marvelling at the conductor.
It was cool to see her effortlessly stand on the moving bus like it was nothing. Kody tried to do the same but his knees felt weak after about two seconds so he sat down and grinned up at her instead.
"Moran Javah!? Woah, where did you get him? I definitely don't have a card that cool in my collection..." She said no trades but Kody wanted to give her something for it.
He dug into his pockets and felt the rock from the garden and brought it out. It was perfectly smooth and had a dark streak running through it, "Here, one of my treasures from home."
Kody listened as his dad explained who Moran Javan was, amazed that he was the Moran from the phrase. Hadn't he heard someone use that before...?
Hopefully she wouldn't reject it.
---
Landing in London, Kody gave Ada a cheerful goodbye and stood with his trunk to await further instruction. He looked around but didn't immediately recognise where they were but that didn't worry him one bit.
He trusted his dad to keep them safe, even if he couldn't call him dad in public.
"Aw nice one, Jax." Kody gave his older brother two thumbs up, "A side-quest! Have fun!"
Part of him wished he could go with Jaxen but the sensible part of him (which was very small and often quiet), figured that would have made the whole experience more stressful for Jaxen. Maybe next time!
Kody listened as Reena talked about what she wanted to do.
A Healer was a surprising answer but to hear it was a stepping stone to another career amazed Kody. His sister was willing to do all that just to get what she wanted?
He knew she was amazing for a reason!
"I'm going to do something with Creatures, I think..." Kody didn't have a clear or concrete career plan in mind yet, but there was a vague inkling there. It made sense for him to pick a future with Creatures, he felt.
"I'm going to have fun playing Quidditch too but I don't want that to be my career." Besides, he wasn't that good at Quidditch either. Not like plenty of other people.
Flying was still fun, though.
Kody went quiet, staring at something across the street and listened to whoever spoke next.
Marcus nodded at Reena's previous considerations for a career, having fully expected something along those lines -- but when she mentioned Research Healer, he seemed to freeze for a moment. His expression showed his reaction going from surprise, to realisation, and to pride. He cleared his throat, trying not to sound was impressed as he was -- and failed terribly.
'Research Healer? Wow.' Marcus nodded, smiling to himself. 'Sweetheart, you'd be amazing at it. I assume you know it's a very difficult process to get into the program, and of course I have to ask that you are doing this for yourself and not for... our research?'
But he trusted her to decide either way. He wasn't one to talk, having considered it himself. Still, he sat straighter on the edge of the fountain, as if his chest was swelling with pride. His daughter, a Research Healer?
'You've got what it takes.' He nodded, certain of it. 'Being a Healer for a while, as a stepping stone... I'm sure it will be worth it. Just think of it as extra studying. Let me know if you need anything; I am familiar with the process. And you really need to stand out, not just good grades.'
Then Kody was talking about his interest in creatures, which was the least surprising thing Marcus had ever heard. He still smiled at the fact his son had traded one of their garden rocks to Ada for a rare card, though thankfully she had enthusiastically accepted it.
He just hoped it wasn't one of the enchanted rocks, but... no, it was probably fine.
'I enjoyed Quidditch, too.' Marcus ruffled his son's hair, amazed that he could reach while sitting down.
How high was this fountain ledge? Kody always seemed younger than he was, and it was endearing but made it even harder to consider him growing up. But his son wanting to work with creatures also made the most sense. He was proud, and a little sad, that so far it didn't seem they needed his help with navigating their possible career plans -- they had it all figured out.
Well, mostly.
'There are a lot of options, relating to creatures.' Marcus nodded. 'Do you have a particular creature or type in mind, or a cause? I recall the creatures department of the Ministry to be awful, and definitely needs someone to fix that. Do you want to rescue them, study them, handle them...? Those creatures are going to be so lucky to have you in their corner.'
He rather preferred these conversations, to the reason behind Reena's fondness for an umbrella. Marcus had suspected, of course, but hearing his not-so-little child talking about a boy was... new. He didn't know how to react, but it was a bit scary to realise that this was exactly the sort of thing that Aubrey would have completely missed in her condition.
'The guy have a name?' Marcus asked, about as casual about this as Reena was.
He scrutinised her; his look indicated he expected the full name -- while his mind worked a mile a minute. Marcus needed more information, as details were important. All he knew so far was that this boy was a year older than her, and a Ravenclaw. Shared with Jaxen, so he would know more... but of course, he learned this while Jaxen wasn't present.
Marcus did hope the kids wouldn't get too cold out there, though. He only had one robe to offer, and it probably wasn't a good idea considering the things in his pockets. He'd move them to another place if necessary, but for now his attention was on Reena's answer -- and hearing what the other kids wanted to do with their futures or current goals.
--
Meanwhile, Jaxen was warming up in the cafe. The lady working the counter was having some trouble with... he had no idea what that was. Some sort of Muggle machine that apparently made coffee? Was it supposed to be steaming like that? He couldn't tell, but she told him to wait a moment while she fussed with it.
'Would you like another cuppa?' a waitress asked a customer near the window, easily in view and earshot of the counter and door. 'Perhaps something to eat?'
'No, thank you. I still have this one,' she replied. 'I'm waiting for my son.'
That was a very familiar reply.
As the waitress headed out the back to someone calling her, the woman turned to look around -- and spotted Jaxen. As if she could possibly have missed him, and somehow he had walked right by her a moment ago.
'Hi, Sweetheart.' Aubrey set down her tea, and rose from her chair.
She beckoned him over, and pulled Jaxen into a big hug before he had the chance to respond or fully register what was happening. And it was no wonder he had walked right by her, as this Aubrey was completely lucid and in good spirits.
Dressed in Muggle clothes as to not stand out, she still looked lovely. And wore a robe-length jacket, no doubt concealing her wand and helping keep her warm. Her hair was wavier, and even tied up into a ponytail-bun kind of thing. Her hair was lighter, and her gaze bright. She was healthier than he'd ever seen her.
'I think we need to talk,' she said, nodding once he decided he was done with their hug. Aubrey sat at her table by the window, though the curtain was shut and there were no other customers. 'Don't you?'
Even her tone was different. Confident, energetic, and completely aware of everything around them. Seeing her like this, he was reminded of those days before they lost Marcus. The mother who laughed as she swung him around in a grassy field, who collapsed beside him on a picnic rug, and who carefully showed him how to use paint brushes.
She'd always been his mother, but never had it been so clear that the Aubrey he'd grown up with was a ghost of herself. The real Aubrey -- the one his dad knew and spoke of, was so different. She watched him, as if aware of everything he felt and thought... as if she had already expected this, and knew how to respond to it.
'So,' Aubrey said again, aware that their time was limited mainly due to the train having to take him back to Hogwarts soon. 'Let's talk, Jaxen.'
Post by Jaxen Ashworth on Jun 12, 2024 19:09:59 GMT 10
Jax's fingers tapped on the counter as he waited for someone behind the counter to speak to him, surely they'd know exactly why his dad had sent him in there. Though, the café itself didn't feel particularly magical. Looking briefly around, he realized that it didn't look like a place frequented by magical folk at all...
His fingers stilled at a voice somewhere behind him. It was familiar, achingly so, and one that he'd truly believed he'd never hear again. Turning, his eyes found her effortlessly as she stood by a table and all of the questions he'd had prior to that moment seemed to die.
For a fleeting moment it didn't matter why she had left or where she'd gone. All that mattered was that she was stood in front of him now. She was okay.
She beckoned him forwards and he went to her without having to think about moving his feet. Jax relaxed into her arms the moment that she pulled him into that hug, as if this was all that he needed to feel normal again. The heaviness that he'd been feeling since arriving home to find her gone, it dissipated as if by magic.
"Mama" his voice cracked as he spoke, grip tightening into the hug when he truly realized that she was there. This wasn't something he'd made up inside his head.
He never wanted to let go. If the hug could last forever, then he willed it to. That way they could stay in that moment and nothing ever had to change, she wouldn't disappear again and he wouldn't feel alone.
But then he held his breath and pulled away, as if the effort it took to do so was immeasurable. They did need to talk, about so many things, there wasn't time... "What are you doing here?" he asked the first thing that came to his mind as he sat down opposite her. He didn't care, not really, he was just glad to see her - but had Marcus sent for her? Had he known she was here? He must've.
Jax slid the package across the table towards her "I believe this was meant for you?"
Sitting across from her, Jax was finally able to really look at her for the first time. She looked different than he remembered, but in a good way. A little bit of that heaviness stirred in his gut when he decided that this was what she looked like before everything bad had happened to their family. When they were whole and didn't know anything of the brokenness that would infect them after dad died.
"I miss you, please come home?" it's not what he'd planned to say. He'd wanted to ask her when she was coming home, if it would be soon, but this was all that he was left with. He knew that the others would want to see her too, if they just walked out together... But then he remembered something Marcus had said. Something about never being able to have them both.
He sat back in his seat, arms crossing over his chest, some of his anger returning. But it wasn't aimed at her, he had assumed that he was mad at her, before. When she was gone, when he realized that she'd actually left them this time. But that wasn't completely true. The world deserved his anger, not her. So that's where it would remain.
Aubrey was briefly confused by the package, gently touching its black ribbons. Of course he had. She sighed, an adoring smile gracing her lips, as she realised what was probably inside it. Always loving her, even when she hurt him too.
'That man. Your father, still taking care of me even when I...' She had a guilty look, and carefully tucked the package away. 'And this, for him.'
She handed him an envelope, without a wax seal yet could only be opened by the person it was intended for. Aubrey gestured for him to quickly and securely hide it away.
Then she just watched him for a moment, as if finally really seeing him. She smiled and remained confident, but her eyes were sad. Remorseful, as if her own actions had hurt her as much as it had them.
Sighing at his questions, she discreetly moved her wand -- casting a rather powerful privacy charm around them, not that the Muggles would have noticed anyway as they'd all gone out the back.
'We are here because your father...' Aubrey shook her head. 'I don't know how he managed, but I suppose he's capable of anything for you kids. He locked himself in my studio last night, and reached out to me. Claimed it was an emergency, but given your reaction last night, I suppose it was.'
Her gaze gained a hint of disappointment.
'While yes, it was my fault for not telling you things, I also did not wish to burden you,' Aubrey began. 'But Jaxen, if you only know what your father went through to be here. What he endured, for all of you. The strength it must take him just to breathe -- and yet, that same man, last night...'
She couldn't even say it, but Jaxen could see it wasn't good. How broken and desperate Marcus had to have been to even achieve what he had. She clutched a hand to her chest, as if her husband's pain was also her own. And she was in hiding. Marcus had confirmed there would be no easy way to reach her, if at all. And yet, he had.
And yet, here she was.
'I needed to speak with you. And only you.' Her tone was firm, even as her hand gently reached to hold his in loving reassurance. 'Your father and I are connected by more than just our love, something I'm not sure even he knows. I don't wish to burden him either.'
She held up her left hand, still wearing her wedding ring.
'This. Mine was not imbued with the potion Reena spilled on his, and yet our rings are symbolic of our bond. He gave his life for mine, and that merged a connection,' she explained, so eloquently and clear. 'Nothing useful nor insightful, but if something big happens -- the other can sense it. I felt him die. I didn't feel anything again, until last night.'
She met his gaze, as if trying to say something more than her words could in such a short time. But this Aubrey was not familiar enough to Jaxen; he had no idea what she was trying to say, and only had her words or expression to go by.
'Jaxen, you're angry. I'd love to tell you to just be angry -- to work through it, to scream and kick and cry as much as your heart desires.' Aubrey shook her head. 'But that will kill you. It'll accelerate your curse and Verity's. You two are magically tied; two bodies, but one curse. The words you spoke, yes your father told me, they were cruel. With enough intent, you could have killed her.'
And yet she said it in a way no one else spoke to Jaxen since they'd gotten home; she said it as if they were her own words -- as if she understood every second of his pain and why he reacted the way he did. She understood him, her son, better than anyone.
As if she'd have done and said exactly the same thing. The difference was only that she understood the consequences. She knew better.
'You need to let go a little,' Aubrey removed her hand from his. 'I love you, Sweetheart. I love you more than anything, and that is why I left. That is why I need to focus on saving you. And you need to prepare yourself. I am coming home, if you believe I can do this, but it won't be forever.'
It was a hard truth, yet her tone never wavered from gentle and motherly.
'My curse will take over, but only when I am finished,' she promised him. 'I won't be there, not really, to watch you graduate or become whatever and whoever you're going to be. But you, my son, you will live. I will make damn sure of it. And you will live without me.'
She sighed, leaning back into her seat. Aubrey gave the cafe a glance, visibly pondering how much time they had left and how much she could afford to say.
'Your father wanted me to at least write you a letter. You were hurting, and we're concerned that you are going back to Hogwarts full of anger and recklessness. That you are going to set off your curse, though I imagine you've felt something by now,' she went on to say, while taking in his appearance as if to commit him to memory.
Aubrey crossed her arms tight, resisting reaching out to him again no matter how badly she wanted to.
'I'm sure he broke our deal because he knows how it feels, to not be able to see his mother. To suddenly be held at such a distance he can't even speak with her, or just know she's okay.' Aubrey nodded, as if this was obvious to Jaxen as well. He knew Marcus couldn't be near his own parents, right? 'But when I heard the full story, I had to come here.'
This time she did reach for his hand again, clutching it as if their very lives depended on what she said next. And the seriousness of her gaze, despite filled with tears and regret, highlighted the unfair truth in that.
'I came here because you, Jaxen Ashworth, are the most amazing son anyone could ask for,' Aubrey said, voice soft through her emotions threatening to spill over. But she was stronger than them now. 'The most amazing big brother, too. You and Reena have carried this family for so long. When I fell down, you stepped up.'
Her awareness of this was sharp and attentive. So she did know. Had then then, through her haze? Maybe, but she knew now. She saw it all as clearly as they did. Was that better or worse? Whatever it was, she did not treat this as a goodbye. It wasn't that, no. It was acknowledgement. It was just her, being his mother.
'And now it's time to let go.' Aubrey nodded, but didn't pull away this time. That was his job now. 'I came here to give you my full permission to let go. It should never have been your job to be the adult. And it's okay, darling -- you can stop now. You can be sixteen, and rely on your dad, and just be our son.'
She nodded, tears falling but she ignored them. Aubrey knew the weight on his shoulders -- how, he might never know. But she did. She sat across from him stronger than ever, and with absolute permission for him to stop being the strong one. To stop holding everyone else together while he fell apart inside.
Jaxen didn't need to think of her first. He didn't need to make sure she was okay, or that his siblings were clothed and fed, or even check they weren't causing trouble. If something went wrong, it wasn't his fault nor his job to fix it. If he wanted to remove the weight on his shoulders, he would not be letting her down -- that was the core of her message.
He had nothing to feel guilty about nor was doing anything bad, if he just wanted to focus on his homework and hang out with his friends. If he wanted to draw in his room over the summer, and leave everything to someone else.
'I know it's hard, but you are the child in this, Jaxen.' Aubrey nodded. 'It took me far too long, but now you need to let me be the parent. And stop blaming your dad for my choices. He's just trying his best, and you are his whole world. He thinks you hate him, did you know? That it's too late for you and him, as it may be for me and Kody.'
Still, she didn't release his hand. Jaxen needed to let her go, metaphorically and physically. Or rather, let go of the responsibility. Let go of what was holding him back from growing and finding his own way.
'But hey, it's all right.' Aubrey used her free hand to brush aside her tears, smiling through them in a way she never could before. 'You have your dad now; it was never to be both. He missed you so much. And I am coming home. This isn't goodbye. You're not letting go of your mother, who loves you and will do anything to protect you, but your burden. I am not your responsibility; you are mine.'
She stared at their hands now, waiting for him to pull away. She was his mother, and always would be.
'It's not goodbye, it's see you later.' She nodded, placing her hand to his cheek like she used to when he was small. 'It's okay Mama, I trust you. It's doing as you're told. So enough with the attitude, and enough with taking your anger out on those who don't deserve it. You make me proud, darling. You go kick butt in your exams, and you just be you.'
And even so, it hovered over them that while this was not a goodbye -- there was going to be a time when he lost her. Properly lost her, not just that she left. Aubrey didn't ignore that, but that was uncertain and there was nothing she could say to make that any easier.
'I love you, my little cub,' Aubrey whispered. 'And I am leaving. I'll stay busy saving your life, and all your lives. That will be my legacy. It will hurt, when the time comes to actually say goodbye, but you will be okay. Because you are my son. The only reason I lived that day was to save you.'
Post by Jaxen Ashworth on Jun 12, 2024 22:41:28 GMT 10
Jax was curious about what was in the package, but didn't pry as Aubrey handed him an envelope and he quickly tucked it into his pocket. Out of sight of anyone who might be watching them, though if there was anyone present then he wasn't aware of them, his eyes never strayed from her.
His own lips quirked up a little when he saw her smile, it was a rare sight. He always wished for her to smile more often, never wanting anything more than for her to be happy. But still, she didn't really look truly happy - there was something else there, sadness, different than how it was when she was at home.
She began to speak about his dad and about the effort it must've taken for him to reach out and contact her. Jax's gaze dropped to his lap when he saw a flicker of disappointment in his mother's eyes. He was so used to those eyes being empty, never had they looked at him like that before.
He leaned forwards in his seat, hands cupped together on the table as she continued to speak. He didn't know how to respond, if it was even the right moment to interject - so he remained silent as she went on. He only knew what Marcus had told them, that his journey to where he was today had been hard. That there was still so much fragility to his existence.
He had been listening despite his anger.
When she took his hand, he held onto her as if afraid that she might disappear before he'd really had a chance to take her all in, to appreciate that she was really there.
Jax shuddered in spite of himself when she detailed the bond that she held with his father, explaining that she felt the moment when his life ended. He squeezed her hand, because he did not have words to serve him in that moment. How awful it must feel to experience the death of the one you love so viscerally.
"I didn't mean to hurt them" he blurted the words before he could stop himself, looking into her eyes as if fearing that she might believe that he'd said those words with the intent of causing Verity and Ezra physical harm. He had meant them, when he'd said them. He'd been angry, he wanted someone to hurt but not them, never would he wish that.
"I don't know how to stop" he looked down at their hands, locked together in a grip that he refused to loosen. If it was just him then he would be content to let the anger eat away at him, until it destroyed him as the curse intended. But Verity's existence made that impossible, because to destroy himself would also mean to destroy her as well.
"How can I stop feeling?" his eyes glistened. The unfairness of their situation just made him angrier, and then that anger subsided into feelings of hopelessness, and then ricocheted back again. Anger was easier than the overwhelming sadness that he'd felt at first.
He didn't want to leave anything unsaid, not when he wasn't sure when he'd see her again. If they'd ever be able to speak like this again.
"When dad told us about what Conrad tried to do, I've never felt that angry before. How can I make the anger for that stop?" especially when Verity seemed so intent on defending everything her parents did. She didn't even know them. Not really.
She let go of his hand, and his fingers reached for her before closing on nothing. He didn't like that distance, the absence of her walm palm against his hand. It was a stark reminder of how the house had felt without her, cold, lonely, wrong...
"No" he shook his head, refusing to believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. His stomach flipped uncomfortably when her words sank in, that she wouldn't be there. Graduation was next year. That was so soon.
"I don't want it. I don't want any of it without you" he choked on the words as tears began to fall from his eyes. Why did it have to be this way, that he couldn't live without her sacrifice? How could she not understand that this was why he felt so angry, that he felt as if he would never stop feeling this way ever again.
Because this was unfair. All of it was so unfair. He wanted nothing more to do with it.
He didn't know why they were doing this. If Marcus knew what it felt to be apart from his own mother then why were they making him endure such torment. The rational part of him knew, of course he knew, but he did not want to be rational in that moment. He wanted her to know how he felt about this, that she was causing him more pain than the threat of any dumb curse ever could.
Then she reached for his hand again and this time it felt as if she might never let go. He'd be happy with that.
Jax wasn't sure when the last time his mother spoke to him like this was. He couldn't remember the last time she'd taken his hand and told him that he'd done good. But all these words seemed to accomplish now was causing fresh tears to slide down his cheeks and his grip to tighten around hers again.
"I never hated you for it, not once" he wanted her to know that, if he didn't say anything else of value. He at least wanted her to know that he could never hate her, no matter what, even on days when looking after four other kids felt impossible. Even on the days when he was small and just wanted his mum.
She wanted him to let go. To be a child. As if he even knew how to do that. He couldn't remember what that felt like.
"I don't want to let go, I'm not ready" he wiped at his eyes with his free hand. This felt more raw than the letter she'd left at the house, the one their dad had read to them. This felt more final, even if she claimed that it was not a goodbye, it felt more like a goodbye than any he'd ever faced before.
His shoulders shook as he fought to contain a sob that forced itself free anyway. She was smiling through her own tears and telling him that it was alright. Yet, he didn't know how anything would ever be alright again. He just wanted to go back to summer, when they were all together and he didn't know what it truly felt like to be hurting. "I don't want to accept this. I won't. There has to be another way" there was always another way. There was always a choice, even if the options sucked. This couldn't be how it was supposed to end? With their family never whole again. They hadn't struggled for so long for this conclusion.
Jax leaned into her touch when she brought her hand up to his cheek and his eyes closed for a moment, his breath shuddering as he tried to calm himself despite that rising panic. Because he knew that soon it would be time for them to part once more and he was unsure of when he might see her again.
"You were never a burden to me" he insisted, because she'd never felt like one. It was his responsibility to protect her, but he'd never questioned it, even when he was little. His first priority had been to shield her from anything that might upset her. Even if that meant facing off with Reena when she had her own anger. "Can I write to you? Will you respond?" he asked, almost afraid of hearing the answer. He feared he already knew what it would be. But maybe the promise of a letter or two might make this easier.
Staring at the way his hand was still clamped around hers, he knew that he couldn't stay glued to her like that forever. But the act of letting go, in any way felt in an impossible feat. He looked up to meet her gaze, trying to read her like he had once been able to, it used to be so easy. As if he were reading words off a page. Now, so much was different.
He let go. His hand unclasping from hers and immediately being pulled back to his own chest as if he was afraid he'd reach for her again. It felt so natural to hold onto her, but he had to accept that the time for holding on was behind him, he had to move forward - even if that meant without her.
Even if it meant that he did not feel okay. Even if it felt like he was leaving a piece of himself behind.
"I love you" he wished he could repeat those three words enough and she wouldn't leave again. That she would stay. That those three words would be enough. But of course, that would never be the case because it was clear now that the world never meant to treat them fairly. In this life, at least, they were always meant to be parted, even if it hurt.
He didn't want there to come a day when he would be without her, he didn't know how he could face that, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that that day would come. Sooner than he'd like.
It was difficult for Aubrey to watch her son struggle, knowing that he had cried many times growing up and she hadn't always been there to catch the tears. Sometimes, but not as much as she should have. He'd let her hand go, and she was immensely proud of him for that. It was the first step, yet it hurt so much.
But their time was on short supply, with a train he had to catch. Aubrey stood from her seat, and cupped Jaxen's face -- giving his cheeks a little squish as she'd done so many times when he was little, usually when he was looking adorable in his bear-hooded bath towel.
'You feel things so deeply, and put everyone else first -- just like your dad,' Aubrey said, smiling through years as though she'd invented it. 'You don't overcome this pain by feeling less. You should feel deeply, darling. Just try to switch out the bad for the good. When it's hard, remind yourself why you're doing this. Don't push away those who love you; embrace them.'
When he mentioned what Conrad did, an icy anger passed over Aubrey's face. She shifted her hands to his shoulders, and averted her gaze as to not aim that kind of emotion at him. Yes, all these years and she wasn't over that either.
She decided not to tell him that, had Conrad survived that night after that he did, she might have killed him herself.
'I was angry about that for a long time too. It took your dad from us. Still am angry.' She nodded, properly honest for probably the first time in the longest time. 'I don't have the answer. You'll have to ask your dad. But know this: when looking at Reena and Verity, there are echoes. They were once brothers, though on different paths and with different interests. It starts small, not big.'
She couldn't say more, though really tried to. But Aubrey just couldn't say anything that sounded even a bit reasonable for Conrad's side of things, having never really gotten along with him -- and then all the pain he caused.
'I don't know. I'm still getting the hang of these sort of emotions myself,' Aubrey shrugged, hving been lost for so long. 'That's something you'll need to figure out. But you are not alone, Jaxen. Remember that. Sometimes, this is all you can do.'
She meant the hug. Pulling him to her, Aubrey gave him a warm squeeze. She was sure that at least Kody or Ezra would gladly offer their hugs in her place -- and perhaps some of his friends would as well, if they were the hugging sort.
She didn't let go, but leaned back so she could see his face and talk properly.
'You are ready.' She nodded, brushing hair from his face. Her precious boy. 'But Jaxen, the truth is... that this, what I'm doing right now, this is the other way. We've tried everything else, and none have worked. I am sure that I have the answer. Your father refuses, as he doesn't want to lose me either, but I was supposed to die.'
She nodded, her expression heavy at the thought of the day they'd lost Marcus. The day that she never, ever talked about -- always dissolving to sobs and heartbreak at the mere mention. Now she nodded, matter-of-factly. It was finally in her past.
'Sacred magic demands a cost. Conrad lost his life, but I've always wondered if it's really that simple.' Aubrey frowned, deep in thought. 'I don't know. There are many things coming back to me now, and so much to think about. I just have this feeling, deep in my chest... I can't explain. But you don't break a blood curse without spilling more blood.'
Aubrey shook her head at the question of if he could write to her, or if she'd respond.
'No, Sweetheart. Even being here is very risky. I need to completely disappear now, where no one is looking for me or suspects anything. That is the only way.' Aubrey hugged him again, allowing Jaxen as much of her motherly love as she could give him. 'I love you too, forever and always. All of you.'
She was concerned about what Marcus said regarding the curse, that Jaxen didn't seem to take it too seriously when compared to everything else going on. She hoped he was now, after hearing more of the consequences and how much he could hurt Verity or the others if he lost control. But if this was her one chance to make him listen...
'How you've felt -- that pain of thinking you've lost me; to come home and I'm gone?' Aubrey fixed him with a motherly look. 'That is what we will feel but worse, if anything happens to you. Even if you don't hurt them in your anger, you are no less valuable. No less loved, you hear me? We've lost enough.'
Almost coldly, she pulled away from him.
'Now, you have a train to catch,' Aubrey nodded. 'This is a fresh start, Jaxen. Life will be different, but it doesn't have to be sad. Just sometimes. You have your dad back -- isn't that a miracle in itself? You can talk to him, you know. Hug him all you like. When my curse finally takes me over, he's going to need those hugs too.'
She reached into one of her pockets, fussing around some notes in search of a little blue pouch. Aubrey offered it to Jaxen with a loving smile, waiting for him to inspect it. Inside was a silver tie clip, with a subtle paw print.
'Wolf.'Aubrey pointed to herself, smiling as she was finally able to acknowledge her own animal in the family -- having neglected that connection for so long. 'Something to keep me close to your heart. Wear it whenever you miss me, or just when you're out there making me proud.'
Reluctantly looking to the door, she nodded.
'It's time to go, Jaxen,' she said, firmly. 'Go back to your dad, and your siblings, and your friends. Have faith in your Mama, won't you? Do that for me, Sweetheart, and I can do anything. I love you, always and forever.'
Aubrey didn't head to the door, however. She just waited. He was the one who had to leave this time. He had to find the strength to walk away -- leaving her there to continue on her own path.
'Let go,' she whispered, giving him a teary smile filled with so much love yet her rarely-seen fierce determination. 'I'll see you later.'
Post by Verity Ashworth on Jun 13, 2024 0:00:14 GMT 10
"Maybe on the train." Verity said to Kody about giving him some cool ink designs of his own. She could probably manage to draw some creatures on him. She packed up the rest of her things into her trunk, hiding any disorganization as they waited.
And then, they were going to be on the Knight Bus. Verity felt a little green on the Knight Bus. She glared at Jaxen keeping track of Ezzie, but at least someone made sure he was somewhat stable.
Had he apologized while they were in the same room? Verity doubted it, and until she got an apology or until the sting lessened, she would still be mad as much as it hurt her.
She muttered a quiet thank you when she stepped off the Knight Bus and gathered her strength on the way afterwards.
"I dunno, something about art." Verity said when Marcus asked her career. She wasn't even an OWL student, so she didn't particularly care about it. That was Jaxen and Reena's problem, not hers. She still had what felt like a million years.
Besides, she wanted to hear more about whoever Reena was talking about. She had heard of the boy--she was a Ravenclaw, too--but she was also younger and hadn't heard too much about it.
Post by Ezra Ashworth on Jun 13, 2024 3:02:08 GMT 10
Ezra was quite happy sitting on the bench next to Kody as they waited for the Muggle bus to appear, but Uncle Marcus’ offer for him to summon the Knight Bus was too good to pass up! He got to do the magic? Not one of the older ones? So cool!
He scrambled blindly for his wand, too busy watching Marcus’ movements as if he was going to show him a complicated spell rather than simply how to hold his wand out. No matter how little there was to do though, he was still excited. He got to do the magic! Him!
It was like he was the one taking his family on an adventure now!
Nodding very seriously to show that he understood what he had to do, Ezra took a big breath and then thrust his wand out to summon the bus.
He held his breath to see if it worked, then - BANG! The Knight Bus appeared around the corner, and Ezra bounced in excitement. He’d done it!
He turned to look back at his siblings with a wide grin, as if to say ‘look what he’d done’! He was very pleased with himself.
“Hi Ada!” He greeted the conductor lady with an excited wave.
Uncle Marcus ordered them six tickets, and Ezra had his hand halfway to his own pocket, presuming that he had finally found out what the money was for - he had summoned the bus, so he had to pay! He really was the one taking the family on an adventure - but then Uncle Marcus paid anyway with even more money.
Huh. Ezra decided that he would let Uncle Marcus pay if he really wanted to. That way he could still get presents for everyone one day!
Happy with that idea still being an option, Ezra followed Jax onto the bus so they could find their seats. And then they were off!
The journey seemed especially bouncy, tossing them this way and that in their seats as they travelled. Ezra was quite enjoying it, right up until his seat tried to toss him out completely! Rude!
He flashed a thankful smile up at Jax when he prevented him from going too far, then decided to hold on tighter to stop it from happening again.
“How do you think she does that?” he asked his siblings as he was bounced up and down on his seat, for once not his own doing. “Stands up on the bus? Do you think it’s magic? Or is she just super skilled? Do you think we could do that one day?”
And with that Ezra was thoroughly distracted for the rest of their journey, as he contemplated ways to get better at staying stood up on crazy surfaces.
His ideas included tying boards to stand between brooms and climbing the Whomping Willow to get better at holding on. So it was probably for the best that he did not mention them outloud.
—
It seemed like no time after that that they arrived in London and were saying goodbye to the bus.
“Bye Ada! Bye Mister Driver! Bye Head!” he called as they were left on the street with their trunks.
Happy with their journey, and the new ideas he had come up with to work on his bus riding skills, Ezra looked around the street they were on. He wasn’t sure where they were, but he knew that it wasn’t the train station. They were still getting on the train, right?
Oh! Jaxen was being sent on a quest. That was cool!
Ezra wondered what it was about - quests usually involved dragons or legendary fountains or something, but he did not think there was anything like that in London. And besides, Uncle Marcus wouldn’t send Jax to face a dragon on his own, would he?
He eyed Marcus as he thought that. No, probably no dragons. They’d have to send at least Kody too if it was a dragon.
Oh, it was something about their.. research? The curse!
Kody’d had an idea about it? Go Kody!
Ezra held his hand up to Kody in offer of a high-five well done. He deserved one.
Then Jax was gone on his dragonless-quest and Uncle Marcus was asking them about careers? Why? Was he really supposed to have figured that out already?
He was twelve! He didn’t want a job! He just wanted to run around Hogwarts, have fun, and learn cool things!
Ezra decided that he would just let his siblings answer instead, since they all seemed to have more of an idea than him. Instead he contented himself by sitting on the edge of the fountain and poking at the frozen water as he listened to the others talk.
Ree wanted something about Potions? Or healing? That was cool, she was super smart about potions and anyone would be lucky to have her care for them.
Kody wanted something creature based, which made sense too. He couldn’t imagine him doing anything else.
And Verity was thinking something arty. That sounded right, too, since his sister was super talented.
All of his siblings were super talented at different things actually, and it made Ezra very proud to be related to all of them. They were all awesome!
And then they were talking about Ree’s friends for some reason? Oh cool, he knew some of Ree’s friends! And one of them had given her the neat umbrella? That was so nice! Ezra wondered which one it was..
“Was it Arthur? From the forest?” he asked, his head tilted to the side as he tried to figure out which of Ree’s friends it could have been. Arthur made sense, because she had mentioned ingredient collecting and that was how Ezra had met them!
“But he’s not in Jax’s dorm,” he said, doing his thinking out loud without any thought of if his sister would appreciate it. “Mr Lucas then? He beat me at gobstones and he said he knows you! But isn’t he in your house?”
Huh. Maybe Ezra couldn’t figure out who it was then. Disappointed that he had failed, he settled for waiting to hear what Reena had to say instead.
Post by Reena Ashworth on Jun 13, 2024 5:15:54 GMT 10
There was a lot going on on Marcus' face at the word 'Research Healer' and Reena was both amused and worried by how impressed he looked. Yes, from what she'd learned from Tae-Sang and Grandma, Research Healers were regarded with the utmost respect.
That wasn't why she was interested, of course, it was just a fun little bonus.
"Grandma asked me the same question, actually." Reena said in regards to his inquiry about her intentions.
"Can't say that our 'research' is of no influence, but I want to do this for myself as well."
Reena wasn't sure how to take his reassurances, given that he had known her as a child, then only through stories of a rather unreliable narrator (Mum) and now again for a short while. Though he seemed certain of it, as he had seemed certain that he did know them.
Perhaps he did. Perhaps people didn't really change much, at least not at their core.
When he suggested thinking of Healer as extra studying, she nodded, eyes wide. She hadn't thought of it like that.
She had actually kind of dreaded the Healer part, but this shone an entirely new light on it. Studying she could do.
Huh.
Talking to one's father actually helped with worrying about uncertainties. Who could have known?
Kody chiming in with his own career plans took the attention off of her and Reena gladly stood back. Rather pleased, thinking she had gotten off easy with her explanation for the umbrella, too.
She listened to Marcus' suggestions as far as careers with creatures went, then glanced at Verity when she also voiced her interest, although not very thought out either.
Reena had had more of a plan at their age, but then again, their situations were drastically different. She sometimes wondered what it would be like to just be a kid and take life as it came without having to have a plan plus back up plan at all times.
But then again, the mere thought stressed her out.
Ah. But then Marcus sailed back to ask a follow up question about umbrella-guy.
It appeared she had celebrated too early.
Reena studied her father's scrutinising gaze, understanding full well it had not been a casual question.
Before she could answer however, Ezra piped up. Ever the helpful little brother and lover of puzzles, he offered suggestions that rather mortified her.
Reena's heart must've skipped a few when he suggested Arthur.
Arthur from the forest.
Merlin, that sounded wrong, even coming from such an innocent face.
"N-no. Not Arthur. He's in my year. And in Hufflepuff," she reminded Ezra, though wasn't actually sure Arthur had worn his uniform that day.
Remembering something else about the time Ezzie had met Arthur, she suddenly wasn't feeling all that cold anymore.
Moving closer to her youngest brother, she reached out to lay her hands onto his shoulders. She very much wouldn't mind if he stopped talking now.
At his next suggestion, she couldn't help but laugh out loud.
"Definitely not Lucas. He'd never leave the castle in pouring rain."
She could just imagine it, the grumpiest Lucas, cursing every raindrop that had the audacity to come near his hair.
She really hoped he'd have some time to play chess with her once she was settled back into every day Hogwarts life. She missed him.
Not in the way her father was probably thinking right about now, thanks to Ezra's big mouth. This was getting out of hand, she should have just told his name to begin with.
"Tae-Sang got me the umbrella," she said quickly before Ezra started listing more boys around her age, nevermind that Lucas and Arthur were the only obvious suspects that she could think of.
"Lee." Reena added his last name after meeting her father's gaze. "He's nice."
Feeling perfectly embarrassed by now, she wished Jaxen would hurry up and come back. How long coukd it take to drop off a package?
Post by Kody Ashworth on Jun 13, 2024 6:25:12 GMT 10
Ada Soots seemed pleased to trade her card for Kody's little stone and he marvelled at his new treasure. It was so shiny and new! He thanked her a few times, even as they had got off the bus, and it was pulling away.
Kody made sure to put it into his trunk right away, so there was no danger of it getting damaged in some way.
"Nice." He grinned to himself, giving his trunk a small pat after closing it up again.
Jaxen seemed to be gone a long time but Kody found the current conversation entertaining enough -- plus the promise of Verity doing some designs on his arms or hands during the train ride!
"Woah, there really is a lot. I think I'd like to do something related to conservation or rescue, or maybe being some kind of advocate for a beast or creature in need?" Kody nodded as his dad explained about the Ministry department.
The hair ruffle made Kody grin from ear to ear, knowing that his dad supported his desire to play Quidditch made him want to bounce around with happiness.
Which he managed not to do since his head was now filled with Creature Career Choices.
Could someone like him make a difference? It seemed almost impossible, but that just made Kody more determined to try!
He nodded again when Verity mentioned being interested in an art focused career, "Maybe you can work as a designer some place?"
Not that Kody was well versed in those kinds of jobs or anything artistic. He trusted their dad would know more about it and could help Vee out.
As the conversation shifted to talk about the boys that Reena knew, Kody shrugged, since he didn't know any of them. The only Ravenclaws he knew were either in his class or on the Quidditch team -- none of which would be the boy she was talking about.
And it wasn't like Kody was picking up on any kind of significance with Reena's boy revelation.
He talked to boys and girls all the time, what did it matter?
What was the big deal?
Was that a cat!
Kody ducked suddenly to peer across the street where he was certain he had caught sight of a white tail scooting behind a wall, "Nooo, come back..."
He sighed, holding out his hands for the creature but knowing it was a lost cause. He hung his head because he hadn't even seen their ginger cat over the Christmas holidays and he was worried about him.
Glancing up with a pout, he studied their dad and hoped that he'd take care of the cat when he got home.
Last Edit: Jun 13, 2024 6:26:39 GMT 10 by Kody Ashworth
Post by Jaxen Ashworth on Jun 13, 2024 8:36:29 GMT 10
Jaxen's eyes tracked his mother as she rose from her seat and he followed, getting to his feet as if ready to follow if she attempted to leave. He tried not to blink when she cupped his face in her hands. He tried not to think about how it might be the last time he felt such a gesture of love, subtle as it was, reminiscent of times when he didn't know true heartache. When his only experience of pain was at times when he'd scrape his knee, and then one of his parents was always there to make that hurt go away.
His tears continued to flow and he was powerless to stop them. He didn't want to feel deeply if it hurt this much, he wished he never had to feel this ever again. But if he knew anything by now, it was that life came at a price, and that was the pain they endured through it all.
The flash of anger on her face at the mention of Conrad didn't go unnoticed, and Jax felt his own brow furrow. He felt validated in his own anger, to see that she still harboured ill feelings towards his uncle. But his frown faltered when she mentioned his sisters, about the echoes...
"We would never do what he did" he felt hurt at the very suggestion that history might repeat itself like that. He clashed with his sisters more often than he'd like in recent days but the idea of hurting them? Of hurting any of his siblings, it turned his stomach.
They loved each other. But then... Hadn't Marcus and Conrad loved each other once? They had been brothers.
He wasn't expecting the hug, but he welcomed it. His arms wrapping around her and allowing some of that anger to evaporate. Jaxen would've been content to stay there in that moment, encased in an embrace that made him feel safe and warm and loved.
Why was there never enough time? Why did all the best things have to end?
She leaned back and he allowed himself a small smile when she brushed the hair from his face. He hadn't quite mastered the art of smiling through his tears as she had, so it disappeared from his face moments after it had first appeared. His lip wobbled as he fought back the tears that continued to spill down his cheeks anyway.
She told him he was ready, but how could he be? If the roles were reversed, would she ever be able to claim readiness? If she would just tell him what her plan was, maybe he could help, maybe everything would be okay. But he knew better than to ask that of her, she would not tell him.
"The curse has already taken so much, why does it get to take this too?" the way it hurt to know that the rest of their family was just down the street, waiting for his return. Knowing that they could never be together again, that they would never be whole, because the curse would not allow it.
Jax couldn't explain it to her, because it would just sound like childish determination, an unwillingness to accept the inevitable. But he truly believed that there was another way, they just hadn't figured it out yet. If they just had more time... But that was something they didn't have, he knew that they were racing a clock and time waited for no one.
Shaking his head when she confirmed that they could not contact each other after today, it made everything feel more final. Even if she claimed this wasn't a goodbye, it was a goodbye for now and even that felt like too much to bear.
Jaxen felt like a child again when she pulled him into a hug once again, clinging to his mother as if that was the only thing in the world that he needed. Everything was okay as long as they were in that moment, if he could just drag it out as long as possible...
His mum then tried to explain the consequences if anything were to happen to him, of the pain it would cause her and his father. He never wanted her to feel the same hurt that he'd felt over the last few days, the pain he felt in that moment. They loved him too much to lose him, he could understand part of what that felt like, because he felt it now when he looked at her. Losing a child was supposed to be the worst pain imaginable.
It was that last sentence though, that gave him pause.
"Haven't we lost enough?" his voice sounded distorted from tears, not quite like himself. But they had already lost one parent, they shouldn't have to trade one for the other. It was another example of life being unfair, they couldn't have everything.
He almost cried out when she pulled away this time. Almost demanded a few more moments, like a petulant child. But he held his tongue, his mouth clamped tightly shut so that he couldn't utter a single word, at least for the moment. He had been so eager to catch the train that morning, but now he would willingly miss it several times over if it just meant that they could stay in that moment together.
"Stop..." he whispered it, so quietly that he wasn't sure that she'd hear. Because she kept speaking as if this was goodbye, after stating several times that it wasn't. It felt so final, the way she spoke about fresh starts - a fresh start, without her? No. He couldn't accept it.
He was happy that his dad was back, but he just wished that he got to have them both. That was all he'd ever really wanted.
Maybe if it was possible to cure their curse then hers could be cured too? One day. This didn't have to be it, did it?
She took out a small blue pouch from her pocket and Jax took it into his hands carefully, inspecting the small silver tie clip within. The paw print wasn't one he recognized, it wasn't a bear, Kody probably would've known it immediately. Luckily, he didn't have to ponder it long because his mum cleared it up voluntarily.
Wolf.
He smiled, that was one mystery answered. It seemed so trivial next to the other things they had to figure out, but it felt nice to know this last thing about her. Somehow he felt closer to her now than he did before.
Jaxen slipped it into his pocket just as she gestured towards the door, stating that it was time for him to leave. Already? It felt as though he'd never feel ready to step out of that door, to leave her behind and go back to school as if he didn't feel like his entire world was ending.
He managed one step towards the door before he was glancing back over his shoulder at her and no- he couldn't. He retreated, and took her hand in his before she could snatch it away. With his free hand, he reached to brush a tear from her cheek, aware of his own tearful smile.
"I love you more" he squeezed her hand, speaking clearly through his tearful smile. More than what? He didn't clarify. He just hoped that somehow she knew what he meant.
Let go.
He willed himself to release her hand, knowing that if he did not leave now then he never would. Then all at once he let go of her hand and stormed out of the café. He didn't look back. Not even once. He just kept on walking down the street, the icy air on his wet face making him want to cry more, his ragged breaths billowing around him in white clouds.
He hadn't even thought to put his gloves back on, they were still shoved into one of his pockets. But he didn't care, the sting of the cold on his fingers was nothing compared to what he was feeling inside.
His family remained where he'd left them, sitting by a fountain. His pace quickened when he saw them and he didn't stop walking, not when he passed the first of the trunks, not when he passed his siblings, not registering if they were staring or tried to greet him. He walked right up to where Marcus was sitting at the fountains edge.
He didn't think about how angry he'd been with him that morning. He'd just closed the door on his mother and didn't know if he would ever see her again, or if she would be herself when he did. Now he needed the one person who might come close to making him feel like everything was going to be alright. He needed his dad.
"I'm sorry" his shoulders shook as he could no longer hold back the tears.
"I didn't mean it, I promise I didn't mean it" when he claimed that he didn't want him. That he wanted him to leave. He didn't want anyone to leave, he didn't.
His fingers curled into his dads jacket as if he could make sure that he didn't leave, if only he held on tight enough. If he didn't let go, like he'd let her go.
Marcus nodded at Verity, resisting saying anything for now as she still had the rest of the year to think on it -- and hopefully get some ideas on Career's Day. Kody's suggestion for her was good, and worth a consideration. Marcus would do some research later, to try and see if there were other good options out there that Verity would enjoy and could put her skills to use.
Without even looking, busy listening intently to the totally fine and not at all interesting list of boys Ezra stated were relevant to Reena -- Marcus reached out to grab Kody's collar / hood to keep him from running off after a cat. Or whatever it was this time.
Even after all this time, that instinct was purely automatic. Jaxen and Verity may be cursed, but Kody was the hardest Ashworth kid to keep alive. Yet Marcus smiled, as he knew it was just his son's boundless curiosity and love of exploration. And he could hardly judge; his poor mother had the same reflexes for a reason.
Speaking of his mother...
Marcus sighed, only able to nod at Reena's words. He let Kody go, and stared at his feet a little while the ache in his heart subsided. How he missed his parents so much. He could see them any time he wanted, and yet he couldn't.
'Lee?' Marcus' attention shot up when Reena finally relinquished the boy's name. 'Ah. So it was you. I read about that in the Daily Prophet. Seems he's... popular? Oh, well done on winning Gryffindor Heir.'
He added the last part to Kody, recalling how proud he was to see his son's name -- though hoped that's what it was called. He couldn't remember if they had that when he was at Hogwarts. Probably. Though he hadn't expected Reena to be the Ashworth who'd danced with that boy -- and he'd scanned that article at least ten times trying to get more details.
He'd figured it was most likely Jaxen.
She'd said this Taesang kid was nice. And that was all she said. Marcus scrutinused her for a moment, his Dad bells going off loudly in his ears. Teenage boys being nice to his daughter was... well, no, actually it was a good thing. It just made him feel weird, knowing that he'd left behind a little girl and come back to a teenager.
Were they already at the age to be interested in boys? What was he supposed to do about it? Did he need to say something? He certainly needed to know more about this Taesang Lee. Should he caution her or demand to meet this boy or... why was Jaxen crying?
Marcus watched with concern as his son approached, steadfast and clearly upset. Jaxen ignored everything and everyone else, and Marcus almost flinched as his son was clearly headed for him. What had he done now?
And Jaxen hugged him. Marcus blinked, in surprise as he tried to process what was happening. But not a few seconds later, his instincts kicked in and he embraced his son -- a strong force of comfort and protection. He didn't know what Aubrey had said, but he held Jaxen tight like he'd been yearning to ever since his return.
Or, he never really stopped -- even all those years apart.
But then Jaxen apologised, and Marcus relaxed. It was nice to hear, but what in Merlin's name had Aubrey said to him to turn this around so much? Nevertheless, he only tightened his grip. He remembered how scared he was at times or when things hurt so much, and his dad held him really tight like this. It just felt safe. Stable. Marcus tried to mirror that for his own son.
'I know,' he said, his voice calm and reassuring despite tearing up at the fact Jaxen was actually hugging him. 'It's okay, buddy. I know. I've got you. I'm not going anywhere.'
He held Jaxen as long as his son needed, while also considering the time. He rubbed his son's back, and reminded him that he was loved and of course he knows he didn't mean it. It was truth-adjacent. He really worried his son had grown to hate him, but still didn't think Jaxen had it in him to hate him like that. It was a confusing jumble, and the apology was a breath of relief.
If only his son wasn't also crying, and clearly still hurting in ways Marcus wasn't sure he could simple hug it away. But a glance at a clock nearby, and Marcus knew he had to step in at the worse timing, or risk having to using magic to get them to school.
'I love all of you so much, and I wish we could chat some more, but we're out of time.' Marcus sighed, pulling away from Jaxen. He glanced at Kody but didn't push his luck; yet anyone was welcome to give him a hug before they left. 'You need to get to the train. Jaxen, do you have the envelope for me?'
He was clearly reluctant to let them go, but he had to. Marcus nodded, giving them permission to hurry off and get to where they needed to go. He couldn't join them, but led them to a spot where he could at least see King's Cross. He trusted Jaxen and Reena to help the younger ones not get run down by Muggle cars as they crossed the street together.
'Go on, I'll be touch.' Marcus nodded, giving a wave. 'Write to me when you can or if you need anything. I love you. Safe trip back to Hogwarts.'
He'd stay in that spot, making sure they at least got to the station safely. After that, it was one again on Jaxen and Reena to manage things. But this time, just being the older siblings.
Ashworths are free to proceed. At least Jaxen or Reena need to first post the arrival onto the Platform to confirm the Ashworths got there, then everyone can join them or go ahead onto the train -- which departs soon. An exit post from this thread is welcome, but optional.
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February
