Love and Chaos

Jaxen had awoke on the couch, his neck stiff from the odd angle he'd been lying in. He must've drifted off while waiting for Reena to come home, if that was the case then she'd arrived later than anticipated. Later than any dinner should carry on for, it made his stomach twist with anxiety.

Stretching, he realized that no one was awake yet. It must be pretty early. Getting to his feet, he wandered out of the living room and up the stairs. Pausing outside Reena and Kody's door, the sound of gentle breathing could be heard from inside. Carefully, Jax pushed open the door and peered inside, Kody was still sleeping, his mouth moving as if in speech but no words could be heard.

Glancing over to Reena's bed, his heart gave a sudden lurch upon seeing it empty. The bed was still made, pristine and not slept in. Fighting the rising panic threatening to make him double over, he closed the door a little too quickly and then poked his head into his own bedroom, just to check if Reena had joined Ezzie for the night. But no, his own bed was empty and Ezra was quite alone.

Taking the stairs down two at a time, he did a frantic sweep of the house. Heart hammering when each room remained empty and Reena's presence not felt in any of them. It was only when each room had been searched, that he made his way outside.

He'd never felt so sick in his life, not even the day of his exams when he'd had to duck into the bathroom before breakfast. The thought that his sister hadn't made it home... Where was she? Should he send an owl to Amara? Would she even know? Surely Reena wouldn't have spent the night without first sending word to them.

Then as he looked across the garden, he saw... His sister sleeping on the bench?

Jaxen crossed the garden at a run, hesitating beside Reena's sleeping form to take in the outfit she was in. He'd definitely never seen those clothes, he knew that for a fact because they looked like they cost more than their entire house. It was a pretty generous gift... If they had in fact been a gift, maybe he could expect a rather heated owl from the Seabrooke's demanding they return their stolen property.

Getting over his surprise, he reached for his sister. Shaking her shoulder, gently at first and then with clear urgency.

"Reena! Wake up! What are you doing out here?" he demanded, his heart still racing from the fear he'd just had to endure after finding her bed empty.

Ezra had tried his hardest to stay awake the night before, determined to wait up for Reena to find her way home and Jaxen to appear in their bedroom. After a long journey and the upsetting welcome home though, he had found himself passed out not long after his pyjamas were put on.

It had been a very good sleep at least. He had slept straight through, happily snuggled up in his own bed, right up until movement of the bedroom door disturbed him.

Ezra nuzzled his head deeper into the pillow that he was hugging, letting out an unhappy little grumble as he attempted to stay asleep.

That did not work so well for him, not when the noise carried on in the hallway, so he eventually ended up sitting up. He shuffled to the edge of his bed and then, his eyes still mainly closed, tripped his way over to his oldest brother's bed.

“Jax?” he mumbled, only to let out another unhappy sound when he realised that the bed was empty. Where was his brother? Was the noise him leaving?

Ezra yawned as he shuffled out of the room, his pillow still hugged in his arms, just in time to see the blurry form of Kody head down the stairs. He followed at a slower pace, barely avoiding tripping on the stairs as he went.

He only realised that he had followed his brother outside when something tickled his bare toes and he looked down to blink blearily at what it was. Grass, huh. He wiggled his toes against it and then carried on over to where Kody was crouched down.

“Whatcha doin’?” he yawned, peering over Kody’s shoulder.

All the noise Jaxen made in search of Reena had woken everyone in the house. Three of the doors he'd tried were locked; two upstairs, and one down. He knew one went to the attic, which the kids often forgot they had -- yet each of them, at some point in their lives, had tried to unlock it. With no success.

One locked door downstairs was Aubrey's art studio. The other upstairs was a complete mystery.

And during his frantic search, Jaxen discovered a guest room upstairs, near the bathroom -- it used to be an empty room with a few boxes or knickknacks. The younger kids often pretended it was their secret room, and played by themselves in there when wanting a break from everything else. Reena and Jaxen, in turn, pretended they didn't know... often calling for them then giving up, as if the door was somehow invisible.

Now, it was a proper bedroom. Jaxen was in such a rush, it was about all he could register. A bedroom, where his grandparents were asleep -- though he'd scared the living daylights out of Grandma by burst in. In fairness, he'd assumed it was still empty.

An overnight stay never happened though -- at least not for as long as they could remember. Whenever their grandparents visited for more than a day, they'd sleep elsewhere. Now they had a room. It wasn't specially for them, but the presence of a guest room in itself was strange.

--

While the kids were outside, minus one who managed to either sleep through it all or simply did not care, Grandma dressed and made her way downstairs. Grandpa snored softly in the guest room, oblivious to everything until Grandma went back to wake him -- having a hot chocolate on standby to offset his crankiness at being disturbed. It was their routine.

Grandma returned downstairs, and stood in the doorway to the backyard -- just watching the kids with a smile. Reena seemed upset though, so she headed out to lend a hand.

'Jaxy, go set the table. I've stocked the pantry; there's cereal, bread, butter, milk, and marmalade,' Grandma said, all business yet without her usual sternness. 'There's hot chocolate in the pan, our treat, but put out some orange juice as well.'

It with a nice change of pace, having an adult in charge. She had the wood stove fired up for making toast, which Ashworths did by placing the bread directly onto the stove plate. It was a tricky job, which only Jaxen seemed to have the skills for after Grandpa taught him as young as seven. He no longer needed the step stool, but they kept one under the sink in case the younger kids ever wanted to learn / watch.

'Kody, be a dear and check the new garden? We'll need some fresh strawberries. Make sure they're fully ripe; no green bits.' She turned to the younger boys, ignoring the mouse situation. 'Ezra, check round the front of the house -- do not go beyond the gate, understand? There should be some lovely wild flowers below the windows. Pick a few for the table, won't you, Sweetheart?'

Grandma making shoo'ing motions to the boys, waiting until they left before she joined Reena on the bench -- facing the house. She didn't say anything at first, just let Reena feel her emotions. By then, Grandpa had sleepily emerged from the guest room and made his way downstairs to hang out with Jaxen.

The pantry indeed had more in it than they were used to. In fact, Jaxen could swear it was double in size with actual shelves. There was a whole basket of fresh bread, and two metal jugs of milk. A glass jug of freshly-squeezed juice was stored beside them. A block of butter was in a glass container, just to be safe -- anytime he saw it, it reminded him of little Ezzie asking all those questions about how it never melts or the milk's always cold.

There were several jars of marmalade, which he knew Grandma made herself because there was a heart engraved on each glass jar. There were five different cereals to choose from, including the Sugary Snitches which the youngest Ashworths were obsessed with (and had Quidditch facts on the back), and Reena's favourite Raspberry Oat Flakes. 

A small mental tin near the back, unlabeled. It had a bear paw print on the top, but Jaxen couldn't pry it open by himself.

'Need a hand?' Grandpa asked, from behind the pantry door -- over by the cupboard where the plates were stored. 

The little ashen owl hooted at them from where she perched on the back of a new dining chair, curious to see what was going on and eager to be in the presence of a full household.

While Jaxen gathered things for breakfast and Grandpa set the table, there was no sign of Aubrey -- which was to be expected. Yet for once, no one was rushing about or stressing over what to eat. It was calm, and for a brief moment... almost normal.

'You know you can tell me anything,' Grandma glanced at Reena with such warmth and patience her words rang true. 'Anything. Like... why you slept out here instead of telling us you were home, though luckily Grandpa was camped out waiting even when Jaxy fell asleep. And why you're upset? Between Grandpa and I, we have three good ears.'

She smiled, adding the last part to help boost Reena's spirits or at least given her a moment of relief.

--

Meanwhile, Ezra discovered that Grandma had slightly under-exaggerated -- yes, there'd definitely been some mowing before they got home, but several patches wild flowers remained grassy and overgrown under the windows near the front of the house. The glass was stained with... well, just in general need of a clean and some maintenance. He couldn't see inside them, but knew those windows were for the laundry, a storage room, and the locked art studio.

The flowers were familiar, mainly in yellows and reds. There were often treasures to be found in the tall grass -- this time a blue ball, no bigger than an orange, which once belonged to Kody before he gave it to Ezra, to help cheer him up when he had to leave for Hogwarts without him. Ezra had lost it while playing, sometime last summer.

So that's there it got to.

It was a beautiful sunny day, which made the flowers even more appealing. Beyond the wards, the street was rather calm with only a familiar ginger cat that often wandered around. It felt like home, yet there was still a sense of something in the air that just felt different this time. Whatever it was, the children couldn't quite figure it out. Was there something there that hadn't been before?

Or was something now missing, which they'd simply overlooked at the time it used to be present?

--

Kody was the first of the Ashworth children to explore the new garden Aubrey had put together (with help, apparently) sometime after Christmas. It was off to the side of the backyard where it was a bit more sunny, and not as well-used for that same reason. It used to be a bunch of bushes, some which were prickly, and a scattering of tall trees.

Now it was cleared out, had a cobblestone path, and was properly fenced with wood pickets painted a pale green. There was no gate, as they had no animals or young children to deter. The garden itself was arranged by neat rows of rich soil. An enchanted watering can made its way through the garden, watering various herbs and fruit bushes. The vegetable crops were a few days short of being ready for harvest

There was a peach tree at the back, outside the fence. And two large bushes with purple berries.

The garden was lush with life, though a few plants in the middle were struggling. Given Aubrey's Reena-level aversion to Herbology of any kind, it was very surprising to see. The section he was there for had its own little outline of stones -- and a little, handcrafted / hand-painted picket sign reading Ezra's Strawberry Patch in Aubrey's handwriting.

If Kody wished to explore further, he would notice all their names at different sections. Reena had the biggest one, which was a wide range of herbs -- for cooking or for Potion-Making, he didn't know for sure. Kody had the smallest, but his was not for eating. His little stone-outlined patch was just a beautiful, red flowering bush that attracted butterflies. And that's exactly what it was; Kody's Butterfly Sanctuary.

There was a red and gold butterfly painted on the sign too.

But he was there for strawberries, which were ripe for the picking. A wicker basket hung by its handle on the picket fence nearby it, for this exact purpose.

Reena avoided looking at her brothers further by shifting on the bench and leaning her forehead against her knees. She hugged herself tighter, if possible, but looked up at her grandmother‘s voice.
She registered with mild surprise that she was coming from inside the house so she figured her grandparents had spent the night.

Reena slowly lowered her face again when it became apparent what her grandma was doing. She was impressed by how effortlessly she was able to take charge of the situation and give each of her brothers a task that they would willingly, if not eagerly do, and allowing her some space to gather her thoughts.

Reena wished her grandparents could stay all summer. Things would be so much more peaceful.
Was it wrong hoping that grandpa‘s big surprise for them was that they’re moving in?

Reena was staring ahead at the dark turquoise of the pantsuit on her legs, it was about all she could see from her position.
She hoped she hadn’t ruined it when she had fallen onto the grass earlier. Even if it hadn’t meant anything to Amara, it was still a gift and shouldn’t be treated poorly.
Besides, it had probably been more expensive than everything she owned combined.

Reena concentrated on her breathing while she strained her eyes, looking briefly at her grandma sit down without moving her head.
Keeping an even breath turned out to be a difficult task since it felt as though she was breathing around a huge lump in her throat that minimized the diameter of her windpipe.
It was still shaky when her grandma started talking to her after a while of sitting in silence.

She nodded when her grandma said she could tell her anything, knowing it didn’t apply in this situation.

How would that go?

‘Hey, grandma, I knew a man would die and just watched it happen. But don’t worry: He was a bad man and we let a House Elf take blame, so we‘re not even in trouble.‘

Despite herself, she smiled at the comment about the three good ears. But her smile vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

Reena stopped breathing for a moment. What would happen to the House Elf now? Had they condemned him to death?

“What happens to a House Elf who kills his master?“, she asked quietly.

Her voice was strained, but it was hard talking around the lump in her throat and with the sudden weight on her chest.

“Mr Seabrook. His … food was poisoned,“ she elaborated after some hesitation.
“But he was a horrible, horrible man. You should’ve heard the things the House Elf screamed at the Aurors about… I doubt Amara will even miss her father, it’s so-“

She stopped herself from finishing the thought, instead turning her head slightly and peeking at her grandmother around the turquoise on her shoulder.

She simply could not burden her grandma with her feelings right now.
With how unfair she thought this world was.

With how much she wanted her own dad right now, with how she had considered going into the secret lab to see if the ghostly echo of her dad was still around and might offer her some comfort but deciding against it out of fear that it might drive her mad.

But she couldn’t tell her grandma any of this.

The secret laboratory was to be kept secret and the pain of losing a father she barely remembered likely didn’t hold a candle to losing two beloved sons.

What a cruel twist of fate that Amara had had endured her father’s life as torture while to her, her father’s death was the root of all evil in her life.

Were good fathers just doomed?
And the terrible ones allowed to live their lifes unless someone finally had had enough?

No.
Wait! No!
Grandpa was alive and well!

It was such a relief to be snapped out of her downwards spiral, she could feel her breathing ease as part of the weight lifted off of her chest.

Otherwise she would have dreaded the day Jaxen would get a serious girlfriend. Not that she could see that happening, not in the foreseeable future, but some girl would at some point be sensible enough to try and snatch him away.

Or boyfriend, she figured. Perhaps she and her sister had managed to spoil girls for Jaxen forever with how difficult she figured they could make things for him.

Her clothes were starting to get uncomfortable, especially her shoes and socks and she loosened the hug around herself to fumble with her shoelaces and the hems of her socks.

She glanced towards the new vegetable garden that Kody had disappeared into, then briefly gave the house a confused frown, not certain why that too looked different.

“What will happen to the House Elf?“, she repeated.

Suddenly she felt like that one time when she was seven years old and had gotten Jaxen in trouble with their mum by playing with mum’s wand and burning away her own eyebrows.
Only this situation wasn’t easily resolved with grandma’s pumpkin cookies after a trip to Saint Mungo‘s to patch up her face.

Things were different now. Was everything just getting heavier and heavier the older she got?

Reena slowly tipped over to lean her head against her grandmother‘s shoulder for comfort.

At what age had she stopped calling Jaxen ‘Jaxy‘, she wondered.

Ezra shuffled closer to crouch down next to Kody once he was invited to, his pillow ending up squished between his body and legs in the process. Not that he really minded that fact. He was too sleepy to give up the comfort of such a cuddlable pillow, and too curious not to take a peak.

“Hi, house mouse,” he whispered once he had been told, and could see, what had his brother's attention.

Kody was right, he thought, it did have a fun name. He wondered why it was called that - was it because they were really good at building houses or just because they lived inside people-houses. Did they have a house mouse living with them in their home? Was this their houses’ house mouse?

He was about to ask all of that, apparently not too sleepy for asking questions, when he heard Reena shout at Kody instead.

They weren’t supposed to be feeding the mice? That probably meant that petting it was even further out of the question. That was a shame, he bet it was nice and soft.

Wait… Reena?

Ezra turned his head in the direction of the shout, a smile lighting up when he saw both Reena and Jaxen at the bench. He wondered how long they had been there. It must have been super early if Ree was already dressed, no wonder she did not look very happy.

He was once again distracted though before he could pay that any further attention, Kody had carried on talking and then their grandma appeared too.

Ezra tilted his head back to watch as Grandma made her way across the garden, only to end up falling backwards to sit on the grass when he tilted too far. He smiled up at her as she gave them all jobs to do for breakfast.

His eyes widened when he heard talk of strawberries, suddenly feeling more awake than he had so far that morning. Were they the same ones that their mum had sent in the post? They had been so very yummy!

It was a good thing that Kody had the job of collecting them rather than him. If it had been up to Ezra then there was a high chance that for every one that went in the basket, one would have ended up in his tum too.

No, Ezra had the important job of collecting flowers for the table instead, and he was going to do the best job of it he could. This was what all of his Herbology lessons had been for, he was sure.

“‘Kay,” he nodded at his instructions, trying to remember all that she said. “G’mornin’, Grandma.”

Ezra leaned into the hair ruffle from Kody and then stood up. Something that was made a lot harder by the fact he still had his arms wrapped around his pillow and refused to move them to use them.

Eventually he managed it though and made his way back through the house to exit through the front. The front where he was greeted by the bright sun and, after he had blinked said sun out of his eyes, the familiar patches of colour.

Even though he knew that Grandma had said not to go beyond it, his first stop was the gate itself rather than the flowers like he was supposed to. He did not open it though, just peeked over it in an attempt to see the street beyond.

No people yet, maybe everyone was busy with breakfast too, but he did spot a ginger cat that he thought he recognised. He finally lifted an arm from his pillow to wave at the creature. The cat might not be able to see him, but Ezra liked to say hello anyway.

Once he figured that he was unlikely to see anyone else on the street yet, he turned back towards the flowers to complete his job.

Only to pause when he realised that he might have to actually let go of his pillow completely to pick the flowers. But-... It was so snuggly! He supposed he could do it though, so that he did not disappoint his grandma.

He very carefully moved his pillow so that it was tucked under his arm. There. He had both arms free (kind of), and had managed to not abandon his precious pillow in the garden.

Quite happy with himself, Ezra leaned down to pick the best flowers. Some red and bright yellow - he wondered if that would make Kody feel like he was back at school in his house. Then the odd other colour that he could spot too, and he had a nice handful ready for the table. It only had a couple of pieces of long grass caught up in it too, so he counted that as a success.

Ezra looked over the bunch of flowers that were intended for the table and then hesitated instead of going straight back inside. They were very pretty.

He wondered if they would help to improve Reena’s day, still presuming that her off mood was from a too early morning.

Maybe not these ones. With the red and the bright, almost golden at times, yellow… It was very Gryffindor. Would she not like that after incidents from the school year? Maybe he could pick an extra bunch just for Reena? Yes! That sounded like a good idea.

That plan decided on, Ezra leaned back down to pick another handful. Plenty of yellow since there were so many of them and then… He looked hard for a flash of any other colours. He found some and picked them, before he spotted blue.

The blue was not a flower though, it was a whole other type of treasure.

“My ball!” he cheered, then struggled to pick it up without dropping anything. He could not leave it behind though, that ball was special. It was his Kody-ball!

Ezra managed to pick it up eventually and rushed to the door to roll it inside. He watched it thump against the bottom of the stairs and then wandered back to finish Reena’s bunch of flowers.

That was soon done, and deemed not too Gryffindor, so Ezra made his way back into the house with his two handfuls.

The front door was nudged in an attempt to shut it after he went through, but he did not notice when the click of it closing was not heard. He was too busy rushing through to the kitchen at that point, eager to put the flowers on the table and see if his siblings had finished their jobs too.

They had! Well, Kody had at least. Jaxen still seemed busy.

“Kody! I saw the ginger cat!” he said, quite excited to share news that he thought Kody would like to hear. “It was on the street out front.”

Ezra put the flowers intended for the table down on it as he spoke, his pillow followed on a chair, and then his hands were free but for his flowers for Reena.

He stretched up on his toes to see if there was any sign of her through the window, his eyes managing to only flit towards the tempting strawberries twice as he did so.

Reena felt sick to her stomach at Grandma‘s half answer. She could fill in the blanks: The House Elf wouldn’t survive.

She involuntarily touched a hand to her eyebrows, rubbing at them almost furiously until her grandmother’s hug grew tighter, warmer. Reena allowed herself to relax into it, wondering if hugging her family over tragedies was just her life now.

She nodded at the suggestion to change clothes, yet wasn’t too sure she would actually feel better with the others as Grandma had said.

Reena grabbed the clothes that were laying on the ground and followed her grandmother inside, took of her shoes and immediately felt a big relief around her ankles. When her grandmother nudged her towards the stairs, she gladly walked up to her room.

Staring at her bed, she considered laying down again, feeling drained despite the early hour.

She sighed and sat onto her bed, looking at her unopened trunk and licking over her teeth.
They felt bad to her tongue, she should brush them.

She gathered some fresh clothes and a toothbrush and disappeared into the bathroom just as she saw her sister come back upstairs with some food to disappear into her room with.
She simply gave her a nod of acknowledgment before she closed the door to the bathroom behind her.

She frowned when she noticed a grass stain on the pantsuit and went ahead and cleaned it before washing herself and brushing her teeth.
Combing her hair felt like too much work and she simply put it up in a very messy bun.

With a deep sigh did she brave the way downstairs, albeit truly considering doing as her sister and stay in her room by herself.

Reena noticed that the front door was ajar and closed it as she passed by.

When she joined her family, she was surprised to see her mum up so early. Her grandpa was telling a story about fishing as she quietly slipped into her seat, doing a double take at the table which seemed unfamiliar.

Her thumb traced the outlines of a fox and she almost missed the conclusion of her grandpa‘s story when the owl arrived.
Reena watched quietly as the owl gave Jaxen the envelope addressed to him, figuring it had to be his exam and final grade results.

While he dealt with it, she was not sure what to do with herself, not really feeling like eating, not feeling like talking and not wanting to take away from her brother‘s moment.

Instead she stared at the yellow flowers in front of her with such intensity, she wouldn’t be surprised if they melted away under her gaze and oozed into the butter.

Jax examined the sweets within the tin when his Grandpa easily opened it with just a tap of his wand. What were they doing there? Why were they there in the first place? Memories of his dad were often painful for his mother, so it was surprising to discover such an item sitting in the pantry.

Walking to sit at the table, he stared incredulously at his mother when she gestured for a sweet but handed her one without argument. One sweet would be unlikely to ruin her appetite and he was in no mood to argue.

As everyone gradually found their place at the table, Jaxen helped himself to some of the food on offer and found that for once he didn't miss the food at school. It was upsetting to think about but he was sad that their grandparents couldn't visit more often and help keep things organized.

Taking a bite of toast as he listened to one of his Grandpa's many stories, he froze at the unexpected arrival of an owl. Staring at the large bird as it landed in front of him, offering his leg so that he could take ownership of the large envelope it was intent upon delivering.

His fingers seemed to tremble as he took the envelope into his hands, knowing what had to be waiting for him inside. His OWL results. It all came down to this.

But what if he'd failed? What would happen then? Would he have to retake his fifth year and endure being Reena's classmate in September? Then what if he failed a second time, and a third? Would he be stuck at Hogwarts indefinitely?

His gaze flickered briefly to Kody when his brother asked what the letter was, but he could not bring himself to answer. Instead, he began to open the envelope, fumbling with it so much that he thought he might drop it until eventually he could slide the parchment from within.

Jax had to take a moment to ready himself before looking at the results. His heart sinking at first, before a relieved smile settled upon his face.

"E's and O's, didn't do as good as I'd hoped but pretty decent" he held out the parchment for one of the adults to take if they wished to look for themselves. He'd thought he'd done better on a few of the exams, but it looked like he'd done enough to get into his NEWT classes, and that was what really mattered.