#8 - Bird Droppings

Matt followed Nyz, staying quiet during their walk in awe that he now got to spend an entire afternoon with her. The minutes felt equally short and as if thy could stretch on forever. He was nervous, wondering what they'd talk about or if any kissing would be involved, but not nearly as nervous had he'd been faced with the unknown and torturous waiting. 

Why the Owlery, though?

He glared at some bird crap along the way, hands stuffed into his pants pockets, as he politely looked anywhere than at Nyx's behind while she continued leading the way up the steps. The tower was as gross as he assumed, though had no idea if it was more or less gross than usual. He grumbled, but softened when Nyx apologised. 

In what way was a bird's tower full of feathers and crap ever meant to be "charming", though? Still, he supposed itt was preferable to go with her than be left waiting again. It seemed the letter was an emotional event for her, but Matt didn't know if he was forgetting something important about it. He glanced at the view, but was still too grossed out by the place to enjoy it.

'It's fine.' He shrugged. 'Not exactly a top date destination, but it's just a short stop. Not that today's a date, of course, I mean... Just hanging out, right?' Matt shyly stared at his shoes, knowing neither had actually asked the other out. Ew gross, that visual redirection was a bad idea - did the floors not self-clean or something? He stepped away from a particularly disgusting glob of bid crap, worrying what that owl had eaten to cause such misfortune.

He frowned, utterly confused, by Nyx's next question. Was she asking him to invade her privacy? No, that wasn't right. Was it a test? What was happening right now?

'Um, why would I want to read it?' Matt eyed the letter, burying hands deeper in his pockets. 'I'm sure it's well-written and all, but it's your personal letter and has nothing to do with me. Did you... want me to check something? I'm sorry, Nyx, I don't understand?'

A proper date. In the future.

That was promising! Though he frowned in thought, trying to remember what classified as a "date" and what sort of things Nyx might enjoy. Maybe if she asked him out first, she'd have come up with some good ideas so he would know better the sort of things she liked. It was terrible though, him wanting to be her boyfriend and not knowing where to go on dates. He needed to learn more about her, which was his favourite thing to do.

He nodded at her words, a little disappointed she couldn't remember not having shared this with him, but completely understood having to try and keep track of who knew what. Matt eyed the letter, unable to imagine ever writing an angry letter home. Especially not to his mother. Different worlds, he supposed.

It meant a lot that she was sharing this with him now, though. He didn't want to read it, as it felt like an invasion of privacy regardless, and yet he had a feeling Nyx really wanted him to. So, with obvious reluctance, he accepted it and carefully unfolded to read.

Matt was quiet as he absorbed the words, trying to appear normal while he struggled. He had to reread some parts, annoyed at himself for failing to absorb written information at a crucial time as this. It was hardly extensive theory of Charms, so why was it still so hard? Was it because he was nervous?

He could feel her anger in the letter, and he was appalled on her behalf for the secret-keeping, and yet a part of him hesitated as he handed it back to her. He sighed, ever the honest and empathetic person he was, and refused to hide his feelings either.

'I don't really think I'm allowed to have an opinion on this,' he said. 'It's your life, and you understand more of it than I do. I just can't personally imagine sending this to family. Mine are protective, and I don't always understand why, but they always have a reason. Maybe it was too painful for them? Maybe they were waiting until you were at an age they thought was "ready"? I don't know, I won't pretend to, but I think you've every right to be mad.'

He shrugged. 

'I don't know what to say. I can't imagine what it would be like, to have your own family kept from you.' Matt stared at his shoes. Ew, no, there was bird crap nearby. He shuddered, eyeing the view instead. He wanted to talk about he and his sister being apart when younger, but wasn't sure it would help.

'I say, send it.' He nodded. 'It's important to you, and it comes from your heart, but are you sure you want to cut them out of your life completely? For now, sure, but "ever again"? They're still your family. Was it nice with them, before this secret came out?'

She wasn't going home for the holidays, though?

'I'm going to write home tonight,' he decided aloud. 'See if I can get you an invite to stay with us over Christmas... maybe even the summer? So you won't have to go home unless you want to. I'm sure I can convince them, but... well, security is tight so I hope that... you're my girlfriend, right? I would really like it, if you were. Can I call you that?' He blushed, staring at the floor.

Ew. Why did he keep doing that?

Matt startled, releasing the letter in reflex. Despite her intentions, it very much felt like she'd snatched it back because he'd done something wrong. He watched her, biting his lip, as she handed the letter to an owl without any edits. He saw her side of things and supported Nyx no matter what she chose to do, as it was her decision to make, but he was also raised to be honest - to a fault, really.

He'd normally stay quiet anyway, but hoped his growing relationship with Nyx meant he could be that kind of honest. The fact she had such good memories of her family before this, and that her grandmother was usually so supporting... it just seemed so bizarre to him that they'd then do something so awful and lie about it for so long.

'Not to risk getting my foot hexed, but um...' He winced, fully expecting such. 'What did they say when you asked them about it and why they kept it a secret? I mean, you did... ask for an explanation first, right?'

He felt awkward. They were supposed to be blissfully hanging out that afternoon, and Matt felt he wasn't handling the emotional situation very well. He had no idea what to say that would make her feel better or that could help. A part of him wanted to fix things, as that was what he was best at, but even Matt knew  people and relationships weren't as easy to fix as broken furniture. It wasn't as straightforward as he'd like.

Her reaction to being his girlfriend put the stupidest giddy grin on his face. Her laugh was going to be the death of him. It made all other sounds dull in comparison. He couldn't help laughing with her, and was both startled yet delighted when she jumped into his arms. Not that he would ever admit to sniffing her, or that it was hard not to with how close she was, but she smelled great. Of what, he had no idea (roses?) but it was his new favourite scent.

Unfortunately for her, he probably smelled of burned apples.

His cheeks her hot as he held her, mind panicking to work out how long was reasonable to hold his girlfriend before it got clingy or weird. His stomach felt funny. Matt was almost convinced if he leaned back, he'd just land on a pillow of clouds. Awkwardness consumed him though. He remembered to breathe, wincing as his breath shifted some of her hair as he whooshed it out.

Why did he have to make everything weird? He quickly gave her cheek a peck, then stepped back as if afraid he would catch on fire if he didn't. He finally remembered to avoid staring at his shoes and the reminder of bird crap, and instead focused intently on the view through a window.

'Um, should we...' He inhaled a nervous breath, unable to look at her. 'Where did you want to go? So we can, ah, hang out?' Matt hoped it was somewhere that Kaspian wasn't likely to venture and spoil things. Or anyone, really. He'd waited all morning for this time with Nyx, though waited years for someone to even like him the way she did.